


SELFISH

by simonehop



Category: BNA: Brand New Animal (Anime)
Genre: Animacity, BNA, Beastkin, Brand New Animal - Freeform, Future, High School, Light Petting, Lime, Manga & Anime, Multi, Ogami - Freeform, Reader-Insert, Romance, Selfish, Shirou - Freeform, Slight Alan/Reader, Thriller, Violence, animal - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 38,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25108900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simonehop/pseuds/simonehop
Summary: No matter how hard he tried, Shirou still struggled to change his mind after a hundred years. He believed, and still believes that all humans are selfish. Will you be able to change his mind after all? [Shirou x Reader]
Relationships: Shirou Ogami/Reader
Comments: 97
Kudos: 439





	1. A Century

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got inspired after binging through BNA to write this and I hope you guys enjoy! :) Tell me, what is your favorite character on the show in addition to Shirou?
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific  
> [pn] = preferred noun  
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

It has been a century since the Sylvasta Pharmaceutics accident. The controversy that once plagued Anima City was swept under the rug with a series of reforms that affected both human and beastkin. The government was beginning a new phase of integrating humans into Anima City now that their pilot program was successful in Tokyo, Ikebukuro, Ginza, and other cities.

You looked at the brochure in your hands: eyeing the many amenities this city had to offer. There were internet cafes to make new friends in, shopping districts that catered to human/beastkin, and of course amazing street food. You had just finished your last year of high school and realized that you had no desire to continue your education. All your life, you struggled with learning. You tried to stay behind after school to learn from your teachers. You tried to ask your friends to help tutor you in return for some baked goods. You even tried sleeping on your homework in hopes of letting the information absorb into your head. These methods proved themselves futile. What would make learning in university any different? It was just a more expensive version of high school. You wanted to live life not constantly chained to a book. You wanted to live.

'We'll miss you!''

You looked at the notification on your phone and smiled.

'I'll miss you guys too'

Your friends were there for you thick and thin. It was no surprise to you that they opposed the notion of you moving away. But ultimately, your stubbornness won and their only wish was that you remained in contact with them. You checked your phone again for the time. Only thirty more minutes until you entered your new life as an Anima City resident. You had to register your name, get your residency card, and get your assigned apartment. Humanity had a long way to go but you were hopeful. Change can happen. People and beastkin can exist in the same realm. And really, it was up to everyone to open their hearts to being able to coexist with one another. You felt a bit of pity for your peers for choosing to continue their studies when they could be living life here. You looked at the city line looming in the left. Your excitement grew and so did your fatigue.

You leaned against the cool window and closed your eyes.


	2. Hunger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Optional music to listen to as you read this chapter: miamivice.bandcamp.com/track/tropics
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

"Next stop, Anima City!"

Your eyes fluttered open, revealing your bright surroundings. The train was slowing down as it came closer and closer to the terminal. A yawn escaped your lips. The other passengers were beginning to collect their belongings and discuss their excitement for their big move. You got up from your seat and reached into the overhead to grab your backpack. The sounds of zippers and murmurs filled the quiet car. After you gathered all of your belongings, you stood in the aisle and waited for the rest of the passengers to get ready.

You exited the train and made your way towards the escalators. On the way up, you looked at the series of advertisements that were plastered on the walls. They were similar to the ones you had at home, but were more beastkin-centric. They promoted a new romance movie featuring a famous beastkin named Takaki Atsuko. She was a tiger, whose unique features made her an absolute star on screen.

"Look daddy, it's the tiger girl! Isn't she so pretty!" A random child behind you exclaimed.

You've actually seen her in a few human directed movies as well. It was pretty amazing to see how far society has come. You made a mental note to visit the movie theaters here. There were also promotions for Burger Kitty's new whopper, promising 340% more protein in the patty.

Yep, nothing seemed too out of the ordinary in Anima City.

You stepped into a less trafficked area. Other travelers brush past you as they make their way towards their destinations. Panic started to set in as you slowly realized you had no idea where to go. The signage was confusing. Everyone was moving everywhere. You were discombobulated. You checked your phone and realized you barely had any signal down here. No way you were able to Boogle Maps your way out of this one. You were too prideful to ask someone for help so you chose a random hallway to walk towards. You figured that if you kept walking, you would surely find the exit.

And if you didn't, you'll just try another way. Your grip on your backpack straps get tighter as you spot the guards. Just act natural. Don't act lost. You came here for residency. You're not going to get arrested.

The German Shepards on duty eyed you closely as you walked past them. You have somehow left the terminal and are now outside. Breathing fresh air was a nice treat after being stuck in the train for a few hours. Now that you were out, where were you in Anima City一

"Wow." The word barely escapes your lips.

The sunset casted its breathtaking gold, dusty rose, and lavender hues onto your surroundings. The skyscrapers stretched so high in the air that they seemed to go on forever. This made everything back at home pale in comparison: you've never seen anything taller than a cell tower until now. And in between these glass structures were smaller ones plastered with flashy neon signs inviting residents to visit the bars. You arched your back to get a better look above. Everything seemed so endless. This was what you wanted, wasn't it?

Your stomach growled: breaking your trance.

'I should probably eat.'

You looked forward and eyed the distant lights and colors that drew in a crowd. Perhaps there were some shops that you could grab a quick bite from. You walked towards the end of the street you were on and waited for the lights to turn green. The melodic rhythm of footsteps across the pavement brought a sense of comfort, knowing you weren't alone. A group of pretty flamingos strut their way past you, wearing heels so shiny that they caught the attention of every passerby. You couldn't help but smile: noting how quaint they were. They almost reminded you of your friends' flamboyant personalities.

You get closer and closer to the source of the lights and start to pick up the smell of something delicious. Taking a deep inhale, you tried to find the source of this smell. You closed your eyes and continued to sniff until the savory notes of tonkotsu drew you to a small ramen stall. The chef was happily pulling noodles as the large stock pots bubbled with excitement. There were three seats in total. You looked at the other patron who was seated to the far left. The man was slurping from a large bowl and had a beer as an accompanying side. Your stomach growled again, and you didn't hesitate to seat yourself down on the far right of him.

"What'll it be, [ph]?" The chef brushed his hands together, getting rid of the excess flour from the noodle pulling. You smile,

"A tonkotsu ramen please."

You kicked your legs back and forth as you waited for your food to come out. You leaned against the bar top to get a closer look at the chef. Although he was short, he sure had a way around the kitchen. Shortly afterwards, another patron sat down next to you and ordered the shoyu ramen.

"Pretty good day for some fresh noodles right?" The man to your left asked. You looked toward him and grinned,

"Isn't it?"

You looked at the chef who was adding the toppings to your ramen. You were so excited to speak to a local resident of Anima City. This was your first day here and you were already making friends!

"I'm about to get my residency card and move in. But I got hungry, and naturally, had to eat. Found this place by chance!"

"Oh... so you're one of those humans who are taking part in that new integration program?"

"Yep! I'm super excited!"

The chef brought out your food and utensils. You mouthed an 'oh my god', staring at your beauty of a ramen bowl. On the left were three slabs of crispy chashu that rested on the noodles like a pillow on a mattress. Next to this were a heapful of enoki and black fungus mushrooms. Of course, no proper bowl is complete without the soy sauce marinated eggs. And everything was topped off with some freshly chopped spring onions. Okay: no more waiting.

You immediately dug in with your spoon and chopsticks, oblivious to the other patron's leer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He will come soon, and so will another chapter. ^^;


	3. Fight or Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this chapter contains explicit material. Tried to get another chapter out before I'm back on the grind @ work!
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

Biting on one of the egg halves, you unlocked your phone to save this shop as a favorite in Boogle Maps. You couldn't believe how much flavor was packed into this broth. It was like silk in your mouth. You wanted to learn how the chef made it so you could reproduce this as well. On the other hand... a chef would never reveal his secrets. All you could do was watch the man chop, heat, and mix away. You picked up a drenched nori and began to chew on it.

You were in mid chew before feeling something slide up your legs. You stopped eating and looked down. Nothing was there. It must have been your imagination. You picked your nori up again before experiencing the same sensation, this time the slick feeling was higher along your legs. No one was around you except for the other patrons. You looked to the left and frowned at the man.

"Hey can you please stop that sir, I am trying to eat here."

"You must be confusing yourself, [ph]. I've been eating all this time, as you can see."

He motioned with both of his occupied hands.

"Ah!" Your face heated up with embarrassment, "my... my apologies, sir."

He smugly grinned, telling you that it wasn't a problem at all. You could've sworn you saw his tongue split into two when he excused your accusation.

Weird.

You went back to finishing your meal. The same feeling occurred again, and you tried to ignore it before the grip on your legs got tighter and the feeling got closer to your upper thighs. You silently gasped, looking down to find nothing. You looked back at the man you accused, and found him slurping his noodles down. You must be feeling really tired. Or, you must be getting delusional from the excitement of moving in. Regardless, dinner wasn't very relaxing any more. You quickly reached into your pockets and pulled out a few bills. You placed your money down on the table,

"Keep the change, chef: it was delicious." The patron eyed you with the corner of his eyes.

The chef looked at your unfinished bowl, "Oi-"

"Byeee!"

You got up from your seat and quickly darted from the ramen shop, noting how strange it was to have something yet nothing slide up your legs. You were on edge: it hasn't been a day yet and you were experiencing some paranoia. You weren't sure if the patron back there was the perpetrator, but he certainly made you feel flustered. You made sure to walk into a heavier part of the crowd so that you would blend in. You kept walking and made sure to put your head down to draw less attention to yourself. Wherever you went, you knew you still had to get your residency information before the day ended.

"City Hall" You pressed the search button on Boogle Maps. With four bars of service, you were sure to have the directions soon.

"You know Anima City really isn't really a place for humans."

Startled, you dropped your phone onto the floor. A strong grip on your arm stopped you in your tracks. You quickly turned around and saw the man who was sitting next to you at the ramen shop. Your eyes widened.

"You."

You tried to rip your arm away from his grip, but winced as it got tighter.

"I wouldn't try to scream if I were you, I could easily end your life right here, little human." His pupils flickered into slits and his irises turned emerald green. You gulped. And here you thought you were going to make friends on your first day. He pulled you towards him, and you shook your head. You applied pressure onto the ground in an attempt to slow the man down but your efforts were futile. You looked at the other people and beastkin in the crowd, who seemed to be conveniently ignoring the scene that was happening right in front of them.

"Somebody一"

He managed to pull you away from the crowd and into a quieter area beyond the street.

"Let me go, I am becoming a citizen today, please," you used your free hand to stop him. You were no match for the taller man. Laughing, the man transforms into a king cobra snake. Now he loomed even more over you. You knew you wanted to learn more about beastkin, but not in this way. You're terrified. You opened your mouth to scream before his tail wraps itself around your body. Your shouts were muffled by his thick scaly skin.

"I haven't had the taste of humans for a loooong time." He opened his mouth to reveal large fangs and a very long tongue that flicked your face. You shuddered before trying again to free yourself. His tail coiled around your body even more, restricting you from moving.

"Please, all I want to do is to live here and live my life."

Unfortunately, that wasn't a good enough of an excuse for the beastkin.

"It's a shame you couldn't get your card in time. But at least through me you'll get to experience what Anima City is all about." The snake grazed your cheek with his fangs, eliciting a cry. You were trembling and tried to think how you could get yourself out of this situation.

"Only the strong survive here, little human."

Not like this. You didn't want to die like this. You wanted to live. Fight or flight. Fight or flight. Fight or flight. You chose the former. As soon as his tongue slid over your lips again, you bit down as hard you could on the muscle. With your bite, you drew blood and a scream from the beastkin. The cobra haphazardly released you. You stumbled to the side, holding your chest to regulate your breathing.

"How dare you."

You knew you had to pick up your legs if you wanted to escape, so you took a leap forward to go back to the main road. His tail quickly caught up with you, dragging you back. You fell onto the concrete floor, scraping your knees and elbows as you braced for the impact. Crimson began to trickle down your body, exciting the cobra even more. He wraps more of his tail around you, frazzling you.

"Please." You let out a small sob and wrangled around in the cobra's grip. Many thoughts flashed through your mind. You were running out of time here. With all of your might again, you bit down into the cobra's skin. Blood sputtered into your mouth and sprayed onto your clothes and the walls around you. Once again, the cobra screamed and loosened his grip. You took this opportunity to take a large breath to regain oxygen.

"Fucking, human. You will pay for that." The cobra hissed and retracted into the shadows. He panted and looked at the wounds that you created. Through a combination of fear and adrenaline, you tried to crawl away from the rampaging beastkin.

"You couldn't let things happen the easy way."

The cobra closed its eyes, and opened them again, revealing a bright red so vivid they could have burned themselves permanently in your sight. You shrieked, watching the cobra transform once more into a larger and more terrifying form. Was this the infamous Nirvasyl Syndrome? You thought that there was a cure for this already? His original features were almost entirely gone. Through your teary eyes, you could tell that he was larger and more out of control. You backed away further, and attempted to get back on your feet again to run away. The cobra lunges towards you faster than you could blink. You were hoisted into the air by his large mouth, his fangs digging into your stomach.

"Help me!" You yelled as loud as you could.

You tried to lift the roof of his mouth before his fangs started to break through the delicate skin of your abdomen. You let out another horror stricken cry. You knew you were going to die then and there.

"Humans taste so good when they're frightened."

The cobra once again runs its tongue against you, this time along your entire body. You shivered as his cool tongue lapped up the dried and fresh blood on your wounds. He also licked the tears running down your face. The saliva numbed your exposed skin. The taste of copper and salt were so titillating to the cobra that he moved around in a psychotic sway.

"Any last words, before I devour you?"

"I...I-I, I just wanted to l-live with beastkin and humans alike."

The cobra cackled. The tension on your abdomen got tighter, and you felt a sharp pain in your body. There was no escape. You stopped shaking, and held onto the fangs that were about to pierce through your body. His tongue licks at the fresh wound. Your breathing slowed down as you felt the foreign intrusion go deeper and deeper into you. Panic became despair.

You lost your hold and your upper body fell back: your weight fully supported by the cobra's mouth. You stared at the sky, which was a brilliant shade of periwinkle. It was a truly beautiful last sight to see.

"To l-live with b-beastkin," you uttered. Your vision became hazy, but not before catching a magnificent flash of silver that danced across your eyes. A shooting star? It was strange; you felt the fang sink completely into your body but you couldn't feel the pain. Was it from the venom or the blood loss? Your hearing was distorted, but you could hear a loud sound. The sound created a force so great that the walls around you cracked and the floors caved in. With your body still in his mouth, the cobra slithered to higher grounds on a roof.

"Can't you let a beastkin have his meal, you fucking scumbag?"

"Let [pn] go."

"Too bad, I already had a sample," the cobra mischievously states, "plus, it's just a human, you understand一 "

Another loud sound.

The cobra released you from its mouth, hissing. The great source of light glinted around the cobra, beating the cobra senseless. The drop was a couple of meters above, but you were luckily rescued: falling into the strong arms of a being. You tried to keep your eyes open but found them closing in on themselves. All you could make out was what seemed to be a lot of fur. The being switches his grip, so that you were cradled against his body. The warmth of the embrace was very comforting to your cold body.

You tried to talk but nothing would come out of your mouth. A free hand applied pressure to the wound on your lower abdomen, stopping the blood from spilling out any further. With the little strength you had left, you gently placed your hand on the being's hand as a silent 'thank you'.

The being stared at you with his slate eyes before taking off with you in his arms, rushing to get you to the closest hospital.

You didn't believe in a god, but if there was one out there, you were thankful that he saved you tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, when I started writing this story, I originally intended it to be a one-shot but the more I wrote, the more I realized I wanted to write about the nuances.
> 
> Also can you tell? I had a lot of fun writing the end of this chapter >:)


	4. Night Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Optional music to listen to as you read this chapter: www.youtube.com/watch?v=3T3ofoKfEoY
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

As Shirou dashed through the busy streets of Anima City, he wrinkled his nose. What was worse than the smell of humans was the smell of a rotten citizen. For the remaining decades of her life, Barbara Rose and the other Japanese mayors held campaigns to get beastkin and humans to intermingle with one another. Unfortunately, this was met with a lot of resistance from both races. Thus began a series of experiments to allow beastkin to live in human cities to reduce the stigma around them. Soon after, people found out that they weren't so different from beastkin, and this sparked a second push to have humans live in Anima City.

The first batch of new residents arrived a week ago and successfully settled into their new apartments. Today, the second batch was supposed to arrive; the last train landing in Anima City terminal at 7:30 PM. A few members in the police force were left in charge of protecting these new arrivals.

And Shirou was personally tasked with handling any matters that went awry.

Even after being educated by Michiru, he still had his personal doubts and biases against the humans. But he was still learning, trying to heal from the past: the humans' pasts, the beastkins' pasts一 his past. Deep down in his heart, Shirou knew he had to push past his preconceptions for the wellbeing of all beastkin. One could say that it was almost his civic duty to bear the pain of neutrality.

Shirou's ears perked up as the human curled [ppr] fingers, grazing them against his chest. How on earth did this little human being get caught up with a wanted beastkin? There were multiple instructions sent out via b-mail to all incoming citizens to prevent this very sort of thing from happening.

Idiot.

Did [ppr] really think that [ppr] was any match for a king cobra's rage? Especially after injuring the beastkin with those bites? It was impressive, but ultimately [ppr] was no match for something that had fifty times the strength of a normal human being. Shortly, the right side of his lips tugged upwards. He was also reminded of another night where a certain tanuki girl knocked down a very large scaffolding during the middle of a festival. Even after a hundred years, it seemed like humans were still very much clumsy.

Idiots.

Usually, Shirou was able to detect these incidents before they escalated. This evening, the damage to the [pn] proved that wrong and he was certainly feeling the guilt of not acting fast enough.

For a long time, he sought revenge against the human race to make them hurt and repay for their ancestor's wrongdoings. He was blindsided by a never ending goal, but even the voices of the thousand slain Nirvasylian citizens urged him to find peace amidst all of the calamity. So why did he feel different tonight? He was unsure of what he was feeling towards the individual.

Irritation? No. Regret. Maybe? Sympathy? Possibly.

'To live with beastkin.'

The words replayed themselves in his mind. Even after being attacked by a beastkin on [ppr] first day in Anima City, [pp] still wanted to become an Anima City resident. Pushing past ignorance was a remarkable trait, and something that he hoped to be able to do one day.

Otherwise, something threw off his nose today. He lifted the human's body a little closer to his face and closed his eyes for a brief moment.

[Ppr] had just got out of the last in-bound train and walked through the junction and into midtown where [ppr] was sidetracked. [Ppr] arrived at a small ramen shop called Izo, then sat down to order. [Ppr] ordered a dish that came out in a large bowl. Broth. Noodle. Egg. Nori. Chashu. Tonkotsu.

Then came the cobra beastkin, who sat down next to [ppr]. Broth. Noodle. Egg. Nori. Chashu. Shoyu.

That was what that other smell was. The beastkin laced his mouth with another scent to mask his would be crime. Detectives already had a hard enough time searching for him: who knew that his downfall would be his lustful hunger for humans. Shirou understood now. He opened his eyes and saw the hospital in his line of sight. He had to hurry before the venom made its way to the nervous system.

He had to save [ppr].

\--

He ran past the automatic doors and through the waiting area, eliciting shocked gasps and squeals as the drops of blood created a trail behind him. The nurses on duty immediately stood up and rushed to get a hospital bed to put the body on. 

"Bring [ppr] over here, sir."

A nurse ushers him over to the bed being pushed past the emergency room doors. Shirou gently places the [pn] down onto the bed, and in a split second the nurses were attaching monitors, restraints, and an endotracheal tube onto the [pn]. Their arms dived in and out of the air like birds of prey.

Shirou could not help but stare at the convoluted mess: wondering how much pain can one suffer without the crutch of immortality. It never occurred to him how fragile a human being could be. As the blood pooled more, so did his sense of liability. The nurses started to move: he briskly walked along with them, only to be stopped by one of the doctors.

"Let. Me. In."

"Sir, you can't come with us into the operating room. You'll have to wait until they finish operating on [ppr]."

He snarled, flashing his large canines to the alarmed doctor. 

"You can visit [ppr] when we're done." The doctor bowed his head towards Shirou and quickly departed behind the emergency room doors. 

Shirou was irritated. He was the one who brought the human in, yet he wasn't allowed to even step into the operating room? He curled his fists and glared at the beige panels. The bed and group of medical professionals were nowhere in sight to see. What were they going to do to the body? He transformed back into his human form and begrudgingly walked over to the waiting area to sit down. The startled patients jerked back in response as they eyed his form. To clamor them down, Shirou shot them another glare before taking off his bloodied jacket and plopping down onto the illy padded chair. He closed his eyes, sighing wistfully.

He promised himself that if the human was still alive after all of this, he would visit [ppr] to make amends on behalf of beastkin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Shirou POV! How do you like them apples? 
> 
> Some of you might be wondering why there's such a big build up (like c'mon where's the fluff and romance Simone, we're 4 chapters in???) and it's because I'm trying to write Shirou in character. 
> 
> I promise you that if you stick with me, the wait will be worth it. I have plans. Big plans. >:3 
> 
> After reading this update, tell yourself one constructive thing that you will do this week. It can be anything from washing your sheets to taking a walk to get some fresh air. Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	5. Roused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may have noticed that I've updated the format of the previous chapters to have line breaks + to include these terms, [ph], [pn], [pp]. This is to give you guys, hopefully, an easier time reading the story! (Thank you Afandomsknight!) I wanted this to come out sooner but... I just kept circling myself. 
> 
> Please, enjoy!
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific 
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun 
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

Multiple blurry figures hovered over you as you were wheeled into a blinding white room.

"Get the anesthetic一"

"Grab the tools!"

"Those ones."

"Get the mask and call the general surgeon!"

"一No, the other ones."

"These?"

"Those."

Loud. Too loud. Alarmingly, the predicament that you were in was further exacerbated by the instruments being prodded against your body. You wanted to groan, but the same sharp pain kept shooting from your abdomen.

"It's administered." 

"Get the tray over here."

The voices around you became less distinct as the drug made its way throughout your body. What was once pain was us completely numb: your breaths carefully controlled by the contraption in your throat. Not being able to go on for much longer, you closed your eyes in exhaustion.

\--

'Where am I... What's going on...'

"Hey Tsutsumi, could you grab another ice pack? This one's all melted." A nurse lifted the wet bag off of your abdomen, handing it to the other.

"Yeah. Let me go into the supply room to refill that."

\--

"[ppr] vitals seem to be normal for the most part."

The same nurse from earlier examined the EKG machine, and wrote down the updated data onto your file.

"Tell the doctor that everything is running fine and that [ppr] just needs more rest."

\--

Hours flew by and you were still drifting in and out of consciousness. Your eyes did their best to lift themselves, but to no avail. You were able to lift your fingers and wiggle your toes, so you weren't completely immobilized. Occasionally, you would also be able to pick up the bits of conversations between the doctors who visited you. Other times, you would just hear the scuffle of rubber against the floor along with the squeak of a cart's wheels. And between the times that you were awake, you attempted to reassess where you exactly were. 

A tight hug from all of your friends. Bittersweet feelings. You were on a train, the 3rd car, on your way to Anima City. There was an ocean: a pretty one. No, that's not why you were here though. You got off of the train and walked onto the escalators. The pattern of the walls distracted you, but then there were the posters with the tiger actress and the burger. Okay, then you were out. What happened from there? You had to dig deeper.

Your eyelids slowly lifted themselves up, revealing a drab fluorescent lit room. You weren't aware that you were staring at something other than the darkness quite just yet. You were very much still deep in thought.

Okay so, the police force on duty. Then hunger. You didn't eat anything the day you left to go take the train. You walked past a bunch of flamingos. They were quite flashy. Then... you smelled the savory smell that only tonkotsu ramen could bring. You walked deeper into the streets, following that scent. Then there was that shop with the small red banners hanging over it. The ramen shop. No, the man. Cobra. ...Your phone!

You gasped as the other memories from that night flooded your mind, spurring your realization that you were in a hospital. You could see. And from what you could see was the table at the edge of your bed full of medication and other medical instruments lined up for the nurses to use later.

The sharp breath you took created a coughing fit, revealing the dull pain in your abdomen. The bite from that cobra beastkin: that was the real reason why you were here. You remembered everything now. You held one hand over your bandaged body, as you lurched forward.

"I see you're awake."

Yes, you were awake. Who could have pointed out something more painfully obvious? Covering your mouth with your other hand, you look around to see where the origin of the voice came from. You finally spot him on your right: a man clad in black and a trench coat staring at you. You squeezed your eyes shut as you tried to contain your coughing. Not too long after, the nurses in the hallway quickly rush to your room with a small cup of water and a straw.

"[ph], please drink this."

The nurses leaned you against their arms before settling you back onto the bed. One held the cup for you: urging you to drink as the other ministered circles onto your back. As you sipped on some of the water, another nurse came in with a new pouch to replace the one that was attached to your IV. 

"We're replacing your pouch with a fresh one that has some antibiotics, which help fight off any infections that could occur. You were badly hurt, [ph]."

"一But thankfully your friend over here brought you in on time."

Friend? When did your friend bring you into the hospital? Didn't you depart your hometown much to everyone's disappointment? They wanted you to stay because this was the very thing they were afraid of happening.

"Snake bites are very dangerous when left untreated. We were glad he was able to bring you in before the venom traveled to your central nervous system."

He? You internally laughed at the idea of one of your friends actually mustering the willpower to drag you along anywhere. When was the last time you two hung out alone?

"Thank goodness, we have Shirou and the Anima City police force一"

Oh yeah at the pool. A few months ago, he was barely able to drag you out of your former home to go to the recreational center. Who alerted him so quickly? Maybe he sent you a text and you went on for too long without responding?

"First, don't panic [ph], everything will be okay. Second, we'll continue to check in with一"

No, that didn't make any sense because the nurse just told you how lethal a bite could be. Couldn't have been him.

"一Most of all, you should count your blessings and thank the silver wolf for saving you tonight."

Wait hold the phone, where was your backpack? 

Anxiety finally bubbled itself to the surface,

"...Sorry, but where's... all of my stuff?"

"[ph], we're sorry but there was nothing on you when you were brought in."

You furrowed your brows as you patted your body down, expecting to find something. You were starting to realize how this all might have been a bad idea. Forget being in the hospital, there were so many memories that were in that little cotton rucksack. And whatever clothes you bought with you were also gone.

"We're sorry [ph]."

The nurses bowed to you before briskly leaving the room, leaving the two of you alone. You furiously sipped on the last of the water before crushing the cup and throwing it across the room. The man on the right's eyes trailed to the corner that the crumpled plastic laid in before making their way back to your figure.

Now that you were fully conscious, you needed answers. You turned to the man again,

"Who... are you?"

"It's none of your concern."

"Okay..." You were perplexed at the strange response. There was a reason why he was here though,

"So, can you tell me how I got here? Who found me? Did the ambulance一?"

"一If an ambulance came, you would have died on the way here." The snowy haired man crossed his arms and put one leg over the other. 

Another odd response. You paused before continuing,

"Well, my name is _____, and I was supposed to go to city hall to get my residency card... I remember being attacked, and not much more after that."

"You were brought in."

"By who...?" You scratched your head,

"I wish I could remember so I can thank them and ask about my phone and book bag that I lost."

His slate eyes met yours,

"Most lost belongings tend to disappear indefinitely over here."

The words hit you like bricks. "... So I suppose I won't be getting those back any time soon, ey?"

Tears pricked at your eyes, "I just came to Anima City to start anew, and to live the rest of my life getting to know beastkin and humans alike."

Life was a gamble, no matter which way you looked at it. You placed your bets in this city because there was nothing more your small town could provide you but their ignorance. Your opinions were constantly surveilled under authority. 'But why' would place you under scrutiny in class and 'We're not so different' would destroy your reputation on the streets. A distinctive memory of being laughed at for scribbling down a dolphin beastkin in your notebook elicited more tears. The harassment you faced from your peers for the remainder of that year couldn't compare to the silence from the faculty and administration.

Your lips quivered as you continued to talk,

"I wanted to get away from the toxicity in my hometown. I wanted to go here on my own to prove that we're not so different and to grow with everyone. So what if beastkin can transform into an entirely different being? What's so bad about that? I got bit by one, no biggie. Look at me, I'm fine."

You clenched your fists. The man continued to study you as you went on,

"I just... am frustrated that something like this happened to me you know. Of all people..." 

You laughed as the first tear slipped from your eyes and onto your hospital gown.

"I still want to give this city a chance, but it kind of hurts losing everything that I came here with. I can't even contact my family or friends. I mean, I really hope no one is worried." 

It hurt you as you loved them so much: even if your association tarnished their statuses. You understood their need to distance themselves from you, but what was the point of your town still having the same old beliefs as they had a century ago? The time to change was now. More tears rolled down your cheek. You turned your head towards the left, 

"And I still don't know who helped me out. I somehow got here, but I know that my friends weren't the ones who brought me here... I..."

You breathed out, "owe this person big time. For giving me a chance even if I'm not a beastkin."

He got off of his chair and walked to the side of the bed. You continued to ramble about the importance of repaying a favor, unaware of his movement. He grabbed the box of tissues on the shelf to your right, and crouched down to your eye level.

"I mean seriously, look at me. I don't even know what I did to have you involved in my life. I don't even know your一"

He held your chin between his index finger and thumb, turning your head towards his face. You looked at him again, this time with a better view. He looked tired, slightly agitated even. Your breath hitched as you mustered the strength to stop your tears. You couldn't help but feel the heat of embarrassment rush to your face. You open your mouth before he places the box onto your lap.

"I'll return with a new phone."

You blinked. Did you hear those words correctly?

"I'm sorry... what? No, please don't, you don't have to," you shook your hands. The man stood up again, and began to make his way to the door. Once more, you were extremely confused. You leaned forward to get out of bed before groaning in pain. You weren't strong enough to stand on your own quite just yet. Instead, you leaned on the shelf to your right,

"At... at least, tell me your name!"

The man took a few more steps before stopping at the door,

"It's Shirou."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was getting carried away... we're making progress here!
> 
> \--
> 
> Tell yourself one positive thing you're going to tell someone this week! It can be your parents, friends, or even your local mailman. Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	6. A Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back with another chapter! 
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

It has been a couple of days since the snowy haired man had talked to you. The sunlight barely glossed over the tops of the large glass buildings. You were shifting around in bed, trying to get into a position that would take the pressure off of your abdomen. The nurses would refill your pain medication every few hours to alleviate the pain, but it was the last thirty minutes of the medication's subsiding effects that were extremely excruciating.

It was a bummer being stuck in bed and being unable to do anything. You could have been exploring Anima City, but of course you were here. Sighing, you looked towards the window where you could see the migration birds make their rounds through the skyscrapers. This helped you maintain your sanity, as your only other source of entertainment were the meals that the nurses brought in: chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry flavored soylent. Now if only hospitals allowed the windows to be open: you would be able to finally hear something else besides yourself all of the time.

You heard the faint sound of footsteps from afar. Oh thank goodness the nurses decided to refill your medication early. It wasn't like you enjoyed swallowing these largely difficult pills; no you weren't a fan at all, but the ibuprofen was very much appreciated for pain management.

The footsteps finally stopped at the door. A knock. Then, the footsteps continued again. How strange: that wasn't the nurses' usual greeting. You squinted into the darkness, trying to make out the figure. As he stepped out of the shadows and into the dawn's light, you finally recognized him.

"It's you."

You smiled as he approached closer and closer to the bed. Maybe he wasn't the nurse, but he was company. And that was something that you craved.

Your smile quickly turned into a grimace as you propped yourself higher against the pillows. Okay, on second thought, company and nurses would be nice to have right now. Still, you were confused about the reason why he would have gone through the lengths that he did to come back here. You weren't expecting him to come back. Plus, you had no idea why he was originally in your room a few days ago. Did you manage to somehow hurt him between the time that you were attacked and now? After all, who promises to return with such a lavish item upon their first encounter with anyone? Let alone a stranger?

The man pulled out a box from one of the pockets in his trench coat.

The box, which was a simple white one wrapped with twine, was then placed onto your lap. You were at a loss. Did he really get you a new phone? Were you supposed to open this? Was this really for you?

"Aren't you going to open it?"

"Ah, I will一 I was just... shocked by all of this."

Flustered, you mumbled a 'sorry' before gingerly picking up the gift. You took one of the ends of the bow and pulled at it. While you were unwrapping the box, the man surveyed your face. You lifted the lid of the box, revealing the dark chrome colored phone. Your eyes widened: as this was the latest version of the phone you once had. You ogled at it, before looking back at the man.

"Are you sure this is really for me?"

All of a sudden, everything felt a little surreal. You couldn't believe that you were looking at a new phone. You couldn't believe that you lost your old one. You couldn't believe that he was here. 

"You opened it."

You angled the phone as you marveled its shininess. It was perfect in every sort of way: it had a longer battery life, was more water resistant, and was much faster. You were especially excited at the prospect of doing a Boogle search without having to wait forever for information to load. And no more staring at a cracked screen! 

"Thank you," you said before your emotions got the better of you. How could someone be so kind? You were soon overcome with happiness: so much that it caused you to tear up again. He raised a brow in response. You looked back at the man with teary eyes.

This was the second time you were crying in front of him. 

\--

"Sorry, this seems to be habitual." You laughed as you wiped your tears,

"I've been feeling all over the place since that day," you paused, "but, thank you... Shirou. I don't know what I can do, but please let me repay the favor. When I get better, I promise you, just name your price: I owe you."

You put the phone back into the box and placed it aside.

"It's... nothing," he turned his head to the side.

You wryly smiled, "I'm sure you will change your mind soon. But enough of my sappiness: what did I do that caused all of this?" you motioned towards him.

"You were bit."

"I know I was... but, I still don't know how that involves you. All I remember was seeing fur and then everything was fuzzy afterwards."

You placed your hand on your cheek, and squeezed your eyes shut. No matter how many times you tried to remember the events of that night, at no point did you remember seeing or coming into contact with this man.

"Do you know anyone who is really fuzzy一 oh, well, I guess beastkin with mammalian traits would be fuzzy," you rambled, "okay, well do you know what kind of beastkin would have一"

"You were brought in."

"By who though? That's what I've been trying to figure out."

In response, the man shifted his feet. It took a few seconds, but you were getting there. He didn't say anything, but what he would have said was what you were now realizing. You opened your mouth. You wanted to say something. Oh god you felt so stupid for not realizing this sooner. The person who saved you that night was none other than the man in front of you.

"You... brought me here."

He looked towards your direction, catching your surprised face.

"You brought me here," you reiterated, "before the bite became fatal."

"If you had just followed the new arrival instructions, you wouldn't be here."

"H-hey! I know...I got so carried away by my hunger. I should have eaten something before I came here but, now I'm stuck drinking liquid protein," your face heated with embarrassment.

"But! The main point is, why didn't you say anything before! You gave me a phone and you saved my life. I'm..." 

Another pause.

"I'm forever in your debt, Shirou. Thank you for giving me a second chance... at life. I really wanted to learn more about Anima City and the beastkin here." 

You looked at him as he walked over to the windows. As he got closer, his hair caught the flecks of amber and gold from the light. You marveled at the how, for lack of a better term, angelic he looked. From your position, you could see his reflection in the window. He looked perplexed. He was staring down below the city as he gathered his thoughts.

"Tell me, how do you do it." 

"Huh?"

"How do you not hate our kind after being attacked by one." 

You blinked, caught off guard by the strange question.

"Well... empathy, I guess?" You cocked your head to the side. Based off of his silence, it seemed like he wanted more than that for an answer.

"Well, I mean... I wasn't really treated so well in my hometown. Quite frankly, I was bullied. And, I've always felt really stuck in one place. Where I come from, you're judged before you can even say anything. And I guess by extension, if I feel out of place there, then how must beatskin feel? That was just one bad apple." 

It was true you had your other misfit friends and your family, but there were also many bad memories you had of your hometown. But that was a conversation for another time.

You continued, "For years, we've been taught that everything has been okay. We read about the banquets and friendships in the textbooks, the parades, the conventions, yet people were uncomfortable when the beastkin arrived in our city. They spat on them. They forced them to take underpaying jobs, to do the dirty work. It felt ickー"

A rhythmic knock interrupts your conversation.

"Hello _____, it's Tsutsumi here. I have your medication that you need to take." The nurse entered the room with a cup of water and a napkin with a turquoise pill. She handed you the items before looking at Shirou.

"And I see we have a returning visitor!" she smiled, "Anything else you need, [ph] _____ ?"

"Not for now. Thank you Tsutsumi."

You waited for the nurse to leave before taking your medication.

You took a small sip out of the cup and grimaced at the sight of the pill. Some things were necessary evils. You quickly threw the pill into your mouth and chugged it down with the rest of the water. You wanted to gag. You leaned against the pillows, waiting for the pain to die down. In the meanwhile, Shirou took a deep breath and closed his eyes, concentrating on the nuances of your previous statements.

After feeling the pain dissipate, you elaborated on your last thought. "We lived under the illusion that we knew how to coexist with beastkin, but in reality we're living under this one big lie. Well, you know what I have to say to that? Screw it, beastkin are our equals. Why do we treat them like dirt?"

\--

For the rest of the morning, Shirou listened to you as you rambled on. He didn't say much, other than glance at you if he wanted you to go more into depth about something you said. He ended up leaning against the window, with one leg crossed over the other and his arms crossed. It was his idea of getting comfortable. You didn't mind this small conversation though. You felt relieved as you have let your inner feelings out to someone who finally might understand. And you hoped that he would return after this conversation so that you could learn more about him.

"So yeah, that's why I'm here. When your mayor announced the new initiative to bring humans into Anima City, I immediately signed up for it. I didn't have much going for me back at home. So why not start anew here?"

"Hm."

Amusement flashed across Shirou's stoic face. That seemed to be all of the information that he needed for today. Shirou leaned forward and walked to the edge of your bed.

"I owe you one."

"What do you mean?" 

"I'll be back again." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shirouuu!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Tell yourself one vegetable you're going to eat this week. Tomatoes definitely count. Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	7. Wet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Optional music to listen to as you read this chapter: soundcloud.com/flancebeats2018/somedays
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

Shirou tended to visit you during the hospital's quieter hours. It seemed to be routine for him to come in, ask a question, and listen to you talk. Sometimes, curiosity got the better of you and you would ask him some of your own questions. Where did he come from? What did he do? If he felt comfortable enough, he would answer with a curt response. Otherwise, he would brush the question off for a future conversation. With patience and time, you hoped to soon be able to figure out his secrets.

You looked into the void of your phone's screen, briefly staring at your reflection before pressing the home button to unlock it. You were thankful that you were finally able to contact your friends and family after setting up your phone. At first, they were very confused as to why you were using a different number than the one they saved your contact information with. Though, It didn't take too long for them to tease you: asking if the number was from a lover's phone一 when did you become so interested in interspecies dating? You vehemently denied their accusations, but cited that even if you were interested: it wasn't their place to be mean about such trivial matters.

You explained your situation to them in an attempt to quell the chaos. Luckily, no one pressured you into giving out any more information after learning about how you ended up in a hospital.

Despite this, there was one person that you were grateful for. You went into your recent messages, searching for his name.

Shirou Ogami.

You scanned the previous conversation you two had.

'[11:23 PM] What keeps you up at night?'

'[11:30 PM] ?'

'[11:31 PM] I wanted to ask b/c you seem like you always have a lot on your mind'

'[11:32 PM] Anima City's future'

'[11:33 PM] Is living in the moment not something you like to do much?'

'[11:34 PM] I prefer to think ahead'

'[11:35 PM] So what does Anima City have in store for a recovering human whose only skillset is knowing how to use a spoon and a fork?'

'[11:37 PM] You can't be serious'

You bit your lip as you tried to contain your smile. He had his serious moments, but then there were times where his own logic failed him. You looked at the clock across the room and eyed the second hand as it drew closer to 6.

You were due to go to your first aquatherapy session in a few minutes.

Each evening, the nurses would bring in a fresh gown and a bottle of topical solution to clean your body. Initially, they offered to help you undress and apply the antiseptic, but you declined their offers in hopes to rehabilitate yourself on your own terms. You learned to rely on your arms since you weren't able to move around quite yetYou really missed wearing real clothes and taking hot showers. But, today was the first day you would be able to do something besides lay in bed.

You decided to send a text message in case a certain individual wanted to show up again.

'[10:24 AM] I have therapy today at 10:30!'

The x rays showed that your rib cage was still healing from the fracture. Your blood levels also had to be continuously monitored to ensure that none of the venom was left in your system. Your wound was now a large scab that just needed ointment applied to it.

Per the doctor's orders, your diet switched from completely liquid to solid foods. It felt good to chew again. It was reassuring to know that you were making progress.

You eyed the phone, waiting to see if Shirou would respond to your message. Shortly after waiting, you stretched your arms out, drawing a long awaited yawn.

There were a few knocks at the door: it was finally time.

"Ready for your session, [ph] _____?"

You looked towards the nurse, "Yes, I am."

You glanced at the screen one more time before sliding your phone under the pillows. The nurse came over with a wheelchair. You scooted yourself to the edge of the bed. Your legs dangled over the bed frame as you supported your upper body's weight with your arms. The nurse motioned for you to put your arms around her shoulders. You followed her instructions and situated yourself onto the leather bound seat. You shivered as your legs were propped onto the foot rest: cold metal was always unpleasant to touch. You placed your hands on your lap and waited for the nurse to wheel you out of the room.

\--

You looked into the mirror. You were in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, which the hospital gave to you. Near the hem of the shorts was an embroidered logo that resembled a tree. Odd. Once again, you were asked if you needed assistance with putting on the clothes. You declined and instead asked for a private room to change into. Through trial and error, you were able to take off your gown and change. Afterwards, you weren't too sure what you were supposed to do with the gown so you neatly folded and tucked it into the side of your wheelchair.

Part of you wanted Shirou to come and visit. Since coming here, you had only one visitor. Your heart stung knowing that your friends and family were aware of your condition yet stayed back home. You really missed them but weirdly enough, you missed him even more. You wanted to have another conversation. You didn't care if it was primarily you who was using the most out of the time. You just wanted to have a face-to-face interaction with someone who wasn't your nurse. You looked away from the reflection of your face.

The room was starting to get stuffy: the faint scent of chlorine made its way to your nose. Maybe it's because you sniffed too hard, but you squeezed your eyes as you felt an incoming sneeze come through.

Achoo!

Knowing the pool was so close by, you were starting to get anxious thinking about the activities the physical trainer would have you do. You sniffled, rubbing your nose, and looked once more at your reflection. The nurses had previously informed you of the aquatherapy sessions, which you've agreed to do. You wanted to do anything but to be stuck in your room. You weren't well versed in swimming and hoped to god you didn't slip and drown. No need for another dance with death.

In hindsight, you should have asked more about these sessions because these arms were created to flail.

"_____, are you ready?"

The knock at the door broke your thoughts, prompting you to respond back.

"I... think I'm ready?"

\--

You held onto the metal railings as you cautiously walked down the steps. You mostly relied on the strength of your arms to keep you standing. Otherwise, you'd probably fall face flat into the pool. The physical trainer was on standby as you made your way into the water.

"Keep walking at your own pace, you can do it _____."

"I'll certainly try."

You took a deep breath before moving your body forward. Your clothes were slowly getting soaked: making you feel heavy as they seemingly dragged you deeper and deeper into the pool. The water rippled around you, wavering like the thoughts running around in your head. You were so out of your element right now. Why couldn't this have been done on dry land again? Once you were completely in the water, you looked back at the trainer.

Clapping at your success, the trainer transforms into their beastkin form: a seal. They grabbed two pool noodles, before gracefully jumping into the deeper end of the pool. You braced yourself for an incoming wave of water to be completely spared. You looked into the water, trying to find the trainer before they rose to the top with the noodles. Amazed at the stunt, you clapped. The trainer bowed and quickly swam to where you were.

"Well, let's get started with some treading exercises, [ph] ______."

\--

You were getting the hang of things as time went on. You were tasked to do side leg raises as well as bounces for other therapy exercises. Once you were acclimated to the temperature of the water, you quickly increased your range of motion. And to believe there was only one instance in which you flipped over. Good thing the trainer knew what they were doing and quickly corrected your mistake.

"Okay, let's walk towards me, _____."

You gripped onto the pool noodle and placed one foot forward and then the other.

"Good, good: let's keep it up!"

You were crossing the width of the pool, focusing on the trainer's voice. As you were approaching the trainer, another figure entered the room. He quietly walked along the pool, eyeing you as you were walking through the water. You were almost near the other end of the pool, before your eyes caught the sight of brown leather oxfords. You raised a brow as you took your final step and looked upwards.

This was a bit of an unexpected surprise.

"Hey! Shirou!"

Not thinking of the possible repercussions, you excitedly lifted your right hand into the air to greet Shirou. A stream of water droplets followed your movements, directly traveling towards the man. Your eyes widened as you realized the gravity of your mistake.

"What一"

The water swiftly met the man's coat and face, prompting him to shift into his beastkin form.

For a moment, you were captivated by the transformation. It was like watching a magician pull a rabbit out of the top hat. What was once white hair was now a mixture of seafoam and grey. Furthermore, a pair of ears and a tail sprouted from his body: replacing all of the human traits he once exhibited. It was then that you remembered that this Shirou was the one who saved you on your first day in Anima City.

He snarled, shaking the excess water off of his body.

He looked around the room for the perpetrator.

Your lips quivered.

"Sorry, this is一" you tried to control the laughter that erupted from your mouth.

It didn't take too long for Shirou to realize that the threat was harmless.

"You."

He glared at you.

You blinked.

"You're just like a cat; I," you paused to catch your breath, "can't believe you did that!"

Shirou was taken aback by your amusement. He turned his head towards the side, scoffing as he transformed back into his human form. For a moment, you swore you saw the slightest shade of rose on his cheeks.

You held a hand over your mouth, "Shirou, I'm sorry."

You laughed some more. The trainer turned around and looked at the source of the commotion,

"Now hey there, if you want to visit our patients, you'll just have to wait outside!"

"Fine with me."

He walked back towards the exit. You reminded yourself to tell him to visit again when you weren't in aquatherapy.

"I'll come find you, Shirou!"

The trainer cleared their throat. You looked back towards the trainer,

"Sorry, sorry, he was probably visiting and I'm sorry for causing such a scene."

"As long as it doesn't happen again, we don't want any accidents happening here."

You nodded, "Absolutely."

"Now, let's wrap up our session for today!"

\--

"Are you sure you don't need help, [ph]?"

"Yes, I'm good Tsutsumi. Please give me a few minutes to clean up."

You were wheeled into one of the bathrooms by the pool. After instructing you on how to use the shower and to locate where the other amenities were, the nurse left you to your own devices. After hearing the door click shut, you wheeled yourself to the edge of where the bathroom's sink was.

You were given a fresh hospital gown and a thick plastic bag for your wet clothes.

'Consider it your uniform for future therapy sessions', the trainer said.

You placed the gown on the sink counter and the bag on a hook. You were proud of yourself for going through the aquatherapy session today. It felt good to be able to walk again, even if it was underwater. Although the exercises were repetitive, they were certainly different from the one where you lay in bed and stare at the ceiling all day. You began to lift the corners of your top. You were halfway into taking off your shirt when you noticed a shadow in the corner of your eyes. Out of terror, you looked towards the right. You almost screamed, seeing Shirou leaning against the door of the bathroom.

"What the hell?" You clutched your shirt in an attempt to calm yourself down.

He walked towards you.

"What are you doing here!?"

You were getting flustered: wondering how on earth he entered this room.

You thought you told him that _you_ would be the one to find him: not the other way around.

"I figured you'd need help." Shirou lifted himself forward and began to walk towards you.

"I don't need help! What made you assume that?"

Your face heated up as he got closer and closer. 

Generally, it was hard to tell what he was thinking, but it was even harder to tell what it was that he exactly wanted to do right now. He loomed over you: you never realized how much greater he was in height than you were. If he wanted to... he could have easily ended you on the spot. 

You didn't want to jump to conclusions, yet you couldn't help but think about the differences in strength and build between the two of you. You would be lying if you said you weren't scared. 

You fidgeted with your fingers. You didn't want to be rude, but you also felt a need to tell him off for lurking in the bathroom. You weren't sure how you were going to approach this in a civil matter. Nonetheless, you tried.

"Shirou, what are you..."

He bent down and effortlessly scooped your body up.

"Shirou!"

You jerked a bit, wincing at the dull throbbing in your lower abdomen.

"Stop moving."

You wrangled against his hold for a few more seconds. When it was clear he wasn't going to let you go, you sighed. Surrendering to his persistence, you leaned against his chest for support.

It was like déjà vu being in his arms again. Everything about him felt warm, yet you were burning inside. Your heart raced as he placed you down onto the shower seat. You averted his gaze and chose to look at the tiled floor instead.

"You smell like chlorine."

Breaking the silence, Shirou reached out with his right hand.

You stammered, "D-don't look at me!"

He opened the shower curtains, separating himself from you.

"I won't: just hand me your clothes."

Although the curtains concealed yourself from him, you could make out his silhouette through the semi-opaque blue curtains. You proceeded to take off your clothes, and handed each one to Shirou. The room was relatively quiet with the exception of the ruffles made from wet cotton against your skin.

He took your clothes and placed them into the bag the hospital gave you. You wrapped your arms around your upper body. You wondered what was going through his mind. He moved the wheelchair by the shower so that you were able to hop back into it after you were done.

"I'll wait outside."

"... Thanks Shirou."

He didn't respond back, as usual, and continued walking towards the exit of the bathroom.

Once you heard the door shut, you turned the shower handle to the coldest setting. You didn't care how freezing the water was: you needed to cool down after that whole situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Notes: 
> 
> Twice as long as my usual content, and a tease to something more than a platonic friendship? :O Shocked pikachu face
> 
> Tell yourself one fruit you're gonna eat! Yah, I think tomatoes also count here. Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	8. Reading

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Quick chapter b/c I was so inspired by this picture here! 
> 
> https://legoideas.1pad.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/lego-house.jpg
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

You would have never suspected that the hospital would have this.

You looked around you, amazed at all of the arrangements of books on the metal shelves. Each bookcase, which was as tall as the ceiling itself, was categorized by a topic. In one corner was mystery/horror and all the way at the other end was fiction. Some of the shelves even had featured books that were turned face side out so that the covers were easier to see.

Along the walls were motivational posters featuring a lion mascot, encouraging young beastkin and people alike to read. In the middle of the room were tables and chairs for children to sit and play in. The seats were arranged in a pattern that allowed someone to move in between: almost like a movie theater. And at the very far end of the room was a bay view window with a seating area littered with baby blue pillows. The indirect sunlight brought just an ample amount of warmth to the rest of the room. Ironically, as inviting as the place felt, it appeared that it didn’t see much use past its initial build.

You wheeled yourself through the soft grey carpet to inspect the room some more. Every so often, you would spot a particular tschotske that would be associated with the corresponding topic it was shelved in. You ran your fingers against the spines of the books as you moved forward. You were amused when you spotted some Begos arranged as a house next to a book titled, ‘The 3 Little Pigs’. Was someone waiting for this to be destroyed?

You stopped at this particular area and reached out to grab the house. After examining it up and down, you decided to take apart the house. It was impulsive, but why were things created if they were not meant to be destroyed? You pried the grey panelling off, then proceeded to take off the red roofing. At some point in this process, you noticed something fluffy inside the house. You pulled the object out of the house and eyed its form.

It was a small stuffed animal that resembled a wolf: embroidered with lustrous stone colored thread and beaded with glass spheres that refracted the light. You raised the toy into the air to look at it even more. You wondered what kind of sick joke this was to put a wolf inside of this Bego brick house.

“That’s the silver wolf.”

You turned your head around and saw a kid, no greater than ten, walk towards you. When did he get in here? Anima City residents seem to have a way of being able to walk into rooms without being detected. You blushed as your mind trailed off to that _one incident_ again.

“He’s the protector of all beastkin!” The kid waved his arms, replicating the prowess of the legendary figure. You shook your thoughts away, focusing on the little boy.

“Who…? This wolf here?” You raised a brow as you pointed to the toy in your hand.

“Yep! How do you not know who the Silver Wolf is, [ph]?”

“I… no?” You cocked your head to the side. The kid’s eyes widened. He threw his hands in the air, quickly darted around you, and transformed into his beastkin form: a seagull. You watched as he flew high enough to grab a book that was a shelf above your reach. You opened your mouth in amazement and saw him transform back into his human form.

He placed the book onto your lap. You looked at the front cover, admiring the gold ornaments that adorned the burgundy leather bound cover. You ran your fingers across the text, feeling the embossed letters.

“The Tale of the Silver Wolf, by Gem Horner,” you read aloud.

“This one is good! You must read it, [ph]!”

You smiled, “Hey junior, how’d you know this book was up there?”

“I’ve been coming here since my dad was in the hospital. Mom told me I could explore the hospital and the nice nurse showed me this room!"

“Smart kid! I’ve been exploring this place too.”

You raised your hand, prompting the child to give you a high five.

“So… Shall I read it for us?”

“Pleeeease! I love this story!” The child grabbed a lime green stool from one of the adjacent tables and brought it towards you. What a ball of energy! You covered your mouth with a hand, suppressing a laugh.

“Okay then,” you flipped open the book to the first page,

“Over the course of history, beastkin and humans have coexisted in different ways...”

\--

“And that’s the story of the silver wolf.”

You closed the book. Although you had problems with comprehending literature, the detailed pictures made the book really captivating. The textures used really brought the pictures to life. It was the perfect book to give anyone a comprehensive understanding of the tension between humans, beastkin, and the savior of the latter.

You looked over at the kid, who is now fast asleep on the floor. When did that happen? You silently patted yourself on the book for reading through the entire book and causing a child to knockout in the process. You guess you could cross that one off of your bucket list!

You closed the book and looked at the boy again.

Maybe you should wait with him until he woke up so that he wasn’t spooked out by your disappearance. You put the stuffed toy back into the little Begos house, before reassembling the roof. You placed the house back by the book that it was next to and closed your eyes.

No, this wasn’t the appropriate book to be next to this item. You placed the book you just read in front of ‘The 3 Little Pigs’.

There.

Now that was the perfect pairing to this house.

Overall, it was such a fascinating book. This mythical legend seemed like a beacon of hope for all beastkin to hold onto, much like the gods that humans believed to be real. You’ll be sure to ask Tsutsumi for more information about this story the next time she comes to your room. But then again, there was another person who you wanted to ask...

You reached into the wheelchair’s pouch and pulled out your phone. Unlocking it, you sent a message to him.

‘[3:42PM] Hey, do you believe in the silver wolf?]’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahaha no Shirou :( 
> 
> But you'll see him again in the future >:) 
> 
> Give yourself a 10 minute break this week to take a walk. I know there are lockdowns currently, so if you can't walk outside, walk around your home (it's what I'm doing :D)! Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	9. Burger Kitty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uh, stalled with this one because every time I try to finish it I end up falling asleep. ^^;; 
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

It started off with a simple question from Shirou.

_‘What do you want to eat?’_

You pressed him for better clarity.

_‘What do you mean?’_

You told him that the hospital already provided you meals. There really wasn’t a choice in what you wanted to eat. The real question should be, _‘what were you going to eat’_. Breakfast was milk, fruit, and cereal. Lunch was a soup or a sandwich. Dinner was stewed fish with pickled vegetables and rice. And if you were really really lucky: desert would be raspberry sherbet.

Although, you would have much preferred it if you had access to the kitchen to cook for yourself. You would have made a hearty shepherd's pie with a gravy accompaniment for the mashed potato layer. That sounded pretty delicious if you didn’t say so yourself. Per your previous statement, you mentioned to Shirou that you would make more than plenty for him to try as well.

He studied your face as you continued to babble on, noticing your facial expressions morphing as you got heated or excited about something. Still, the answers that you were giving were not what he was looking for. The two of you kept going back and forth until it got to the point where you mentioned something of curiosity to him.

“Burger Kitty…”

“That’s right. Burger Kitty,” you chirped back.

The chain that sprouted in Anima City’s crevices: Burger Kitty was the number one fast food restaurant that served heart attacks on the daily. _‘Have it your way’_. What an ominous slogan. Multiple commercials for their restaurant would appear during the middle of the day as you watched the hospital T.V. Shirou wondered why you wanted something so… banal in comparison to the other offerings this city had to offer. Honestly, there really wasn’t another reason you could come up with aside from you being convinced by the advertisement you saw at the city terminal. It was just one of the first things that caught your attention as you were on the escalators. Burger Kitty promised more nutrients in the patty! Who was to argue with that?

Nonetheless, Shirou was confused: he expected a bit of a more elaborate response knowing your love for cooking and baking. You told him that if you thought of anything else you’d want to eat, you’d tell him.

“...”

No matter how many times he visited you, he kept jumping to the same conclusion: humans were strange.

\--

So here you were, sitting on the hospital bed with a brown paper bag on your lap and a soda cup to your side. You were baffled by the kind gesture. You told him that this was unnecessary to so many degrees, but he said that this was to make up for his initial failure to protect an incoming Anima City resident.

“You would have received your residency card and living arrangement had you been rescued in time.”

You knew his pride lied in this city, but you felt that this was overkill. You reminded him that the past was the past: it really wasn’t healthy to dwell on something so insignificant.

“You shouldn’t be doing this. I mean it! I am thankful, but I only mentioned this once to you, you know.”

As you told him to not worry about you, your stomach growled. You squeezed the flesh of your abdomen, trying to suppress the animalistic sounds that were waiting to be spilled by your stomach.

He looked at you. There was something in his eyes that taunted your mind. You could either let go of your humility and enjoy the meal, or you could sit still and let the meal go bad.

You huffed as your stomach growled again.

He was smart; you’ll give him that. He made sure to come during a time when dinner would be scheduled and even went through the extra length to tell the nurses to hold off from delivering food to your room. Why? You wouldn't understand, but you certainly felt guilty every time he did something nice. When will be the day you can get up and walk again to return the favor?

No matter how much you protested, your hunger won the battle against your stubbornness. You unfolded the top of the bag by its corners to release the wafts of canola oil into the air. Your mouth salivated as you took in the smell. When was the last time you had anything really indulgent?

Shirou observed you as you admired the contents of the bag.

You reached into the bag, and pulled out the parchment wrapped whopper. You also took out the fries and arranged both on the bag. This was the new patty that they were talking about in the poster! You knew because the orange packaging looked exactly like the one used in that advertisement. Your stomach emitted more growls, begging you to eat something.

You took a fry and popped it into your mouth.

…

“Mmm-sogood.”

You put another fry into your mouth. Then another. And another. You were filling the pit of your stomach with ultra processed carbs and it was _amazing_.

Now that you’ve had some of the fries, it was time to try to burger. You unwrapped the whopper from the wrapper and admired it at many angles.

“This looks so cartoonish. You know most things do not look like this in real life.”

Soon, you bit through the pillowy sesame bun and sunk your teeth into lettuce, tomato, onion, cheddar cheese, secret sauce, and the beef patty. Crap, this was **really** good. In that moment, you felt like there was nothing more immaculate than a Burger Kitty whopper. This burger tasted so much better than that of Burger Kin一

“I can’t believe you like this stuff.”

You finished chewing on the rest of the food in your mouth. You were preparing a rebuttal as you licked the crumbs around your lips.

“Hey! It’s not like I eat this kind of stuff on a daily basis.”

“... What do you mean by _this_?”

You cleared your throat, “You know, like, fast food.”

Then, you gestured to the food in front of you, “I swear, when I can get up and cooking again, I will turn you from a meat and potatoes kinda dude into an equal opportunist: you won’t be able to resist any kind of meal that comes across you!”

You stuffed your face with the burger again. You were absolutely feral as you continued to devour the burger. Like watching a horror movie, Shirou could only watch you with a slight mixture of disgust and fascination.

\--

Before you knew it, the burger and the fries were practically gone within the span of five minutes. You were in the midst of sipping the cherry coke, enjoying the fizz that bubbled in your throat. The drink was so refreshing, compared to the generic coke the hospital provided. You were feeling quite content until you realized you made no effort in offering Shirou any of the food that you ate. You looked at the mess you made.

“Hey… I am sorry I didn’t offer any of the food. I might have gotten carried away.”

You laughed your embarrassment off.

“It’s not an issue on my end.”

You brushed the mess off of your lap and started to fold the wrapper and containers neatly to put back into the bag.

“There’s so much sugar in that. Why is it so appealing to you?”

There was a silence in the room as you tried to figure out what you should say next. You held your cup out, “Not sure why, do you actually want to try the soda?”

He blinked at you.

“Come on Shirou, it’s not like you have this everyday now do you? It’s not bad to have it every once in a while. And plus, it is Anima City’s best fast food restaurant. You should be proud of this place!”

You waved the cup around, letting the liquid and ice slosh against each other. You told him that it would thirst any beastkin’s quench: maybe even his. You were mischievous in the way that you taunted him, knowing that his priority number one was in this city. He can get backed in a corner too if you spun the narrative enough.

“Please, taste test for Anima City?”

“Fine... only because you’re being erratic right now.”

He got up from the chair by the window and walked towards you. You grinned. He took the cup from your hands and pressed his lips against the straw. You could see the dark liquid rise through the transparent tube as he sucked. You waited for a few moments to see his reaction. What you got was not what you expected.

He turned away as quickly as he could. Maybe it was because he sipped too fast, but he ended up choking on the soda and coughed into his right hand.

“Pffft一” You laughed at the harmless mistake. Shirou tried to contain the coughing, knowing that you were bound to mock him. As you saw him more, you learned that there was more to him than the stoic front he puts up. Behind those eye bags were years of suffering and endurance with the Anima City police force. And possibly, even more?

You weren’t too positive as these were only your initial observations of him. But, you wanted him to be more open. If he could enjoy himself: even if it was for a minute, it would make your day as well.

“I can’t believe the great Shirou is no match for this coke.” You rested your cheek against the palm of your right hand, looking at him. Mildly infuriated, Shirou narrowed his eyes on the cup.

“... Let me try that again.”

He sipped the coke. You were staring at him before you felt liquid hit your face. _Liquid_? You realized that Shirou was spitting the coke on your face. Shocked, you sputtered,

“H-hey! What!”

He sipped on the coke again, clearly swallowing it this time. After he was finished, he looked at you dead in the eye,

“I can’t believe the great ____ is no match for this coke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is summer so that means we should hydrate ourselves! I always drink water at every hour I'm awake, but I consciously make sure to drink more on hotter days. I have experienced heat stroke before and it is not something I want to deal with ever again >:( 
> 
> Tell yourself to drink at least 2L of water a day this week! For reference, use a large (2L) soda bottle. Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	10. Unexpected Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Once again I'm changing the shortcut name for the preferred pronoun from [pp] to [ppr] b/c I am feeling, under the weather, with the comprehension of its usage. English is something I'm sensitive about b/c ur girl was once an ESL student and although I'm happy that people are enjoying the content, I am uncomfortable with something created for inclusion to be misinterpreted as... otherwise. No ill feelings towards anyone: this is just to make your reading experience better! :)
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

As Shirou sauntered through the white sterile hallways of the hospital, he reflected on some of his personal interactions with the human. 

Today, he brought a box of takoyaki, from a local street vendor, with him. Per _____’s request, Shirou made sure that he wasted not a second more with bringing this in time for lunch. ‘ _Fresher is better! A chef spends a lot of time learning the art of cheapness and perfection. If we don’t eat their food right away, we would be disrespecting their efforts!_ ’ 

He wasn’t in the mood to question why _____ believed this; he just knew that it was easier to entertain [ppr] antics. The last time he experienced such unpredictability in a human’s behavior was when Michiru was still around. It wasn’t like this human could shapeshift as [ppr] pleased or that [ppr] were spontaneous in helping him out on an assignment. That was Michiru’s idiosyncrasy.

However, it was [ppr] mentality that drew Shirou back again and again. [Ppr] was far from what a beastkin could be: a puny human who never stood a chance in this city as soon as [ppr] stepped foot on land. [Ppr] stupidity sent [ppr] to the hospital. Yet, leaving [ppr] in such a vulnerable state didn’t feel right to Shirou. He would bear the weight of guilt if he didn’t at least watch the human as [ppr] recovered from the convict’s bite. 

_‘You’re being hard on yourself again, Shirou,’_ a familiar voice rang in his head.

Shirou rolled his eyes. 

He wasn’t the type of beastkin to be fond of their loved ones. _No_. He still had the duty of protecting Anima City and all of its living beings. He just wasn’t expecting to put so much time into someone so insignificant一 in comparison to the millions of other citizens who lived here. But why did he put so much effort into seeing [ppr] in the first place?

He didn’t have to do any of this. He could have left _____ alone in the hospital. There wouldn’t be anything more than a fleeting encounter when he carried [ppr] to the emergency room. Or, he could have left _____ after he bought [ppr] a new phone: [ppr] could have contacted the human police and asked them to bring [ppr] back. Was seeing the human really necessary? 

‘T _his is for the sake of all beastkin,’_ he told himself. 

When they had their first conversation, Shirou was taken aback by the misery experienced in [ppr] hometown and the desire to escape from it. Based on his preconceptions, Shirou assumed that every human would be content with where they lived. With no beastkin in sight: what place wouldn’t be paradise for this _abhorrent_ race? Apparently, that wasn’t the case for this one: a [pn] so eager to leave the comfort of friends and family behind in search of an unknown future. He wanted to figure out why an early adopter of this human residency program would want to stay here so much, especially after being attacked on the first day. Shirou’s hope was that by understanding [ppr] behavior, he would learn why humans were so bent to misjudging beastkin. 

\--

_“Do you see this little red line here?” _____ pulled the hospital gown’s sleeve down. [Ppr] motioned Shirou to come closer and to look at a previous sustained injury. _____ pointed to a scar that ran from one end of [ppr] shoulder blade to the other. Little was an understatement._

_“I got this… a while back. I… Forgive me, it’s been a while since I talked about this. I think, it was, three, four years ago, I was talking down the stairs on my way to school. I wasn’t expecting really anything to happen that day but you know, two guys kind of just.”_

_[Ppr] breathed._

_“Just… I think they just, laughed. Called me some things. A beastkin sympathizer一like why would I care so much about their move into our town. They told me if I knew what was good I would stop standing up for the beastkin and start being grateful that humankind hasn’t turned its back on me yet,” [ppr] voice grew shakier as [ppr] continued,_

_“And then… they... they pushed me down the stairs… Everything was kind of blurry after that. I remember tumbling, and honestly it’s,” [ppr] wiped the corners of [ppr] eyes,_

_“It’s not until you realize you should be in pain that you truly experience the pain. I landed on something sharp, and that is the story of how I got this bad boy.”_

_“And yet you still want to be here.”_

_“I did get pushed down the stairs didn’t I? I’ll see these arrogant assholes at their graves: I’m not ready to go out yet. My resolve is now stronger than ever!”_

_\--_

It was that determination that made no sense to Shirou. Maybe he had it wrong: humanity had its universal constants. Anger. Greed. Selfishness. But to be _____, was to be unpredictable. 

_‘You’re being way too serious, Shirou.’_

The image of Michiru flashed in his mind. She had one hand on her hip and her other pointed towards him.

_‘If you don’t open up now, how are you ever going to continue to grow? You’ll be stuck carrying this huge weight on your shoulders. Take care of yourself first Shirou, not everything has to be for the sake of all beastkin.’_

_‘Tell me how then.’_

She circled around him. _‘You need to put away your angry wolf face and put on your happy wolf face. Stop regretting everything that has happened in the past! If you keep putting everything else above you, then you’re gonna burn out. And then, who is going to protect all of beastkinity?’_

_‘...’_

_‘Shirou.’_

The same image wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her nose into the crest of his back.

_‘... I’m not here anymore. I can’t always tell you what to do. If you feel something, act on it.’_

_‘It’s not the same...’_

_‘You don’t need me. Get uncomfortable and talk to _____. Not all of us are bad.’_

_‘...’_

_‘Take care of yourself: for mayor Rose and for me, okay?’_

She had her moments, but she was able to help him bring change to this city. Even after her death, Anima City thrived. However, there was still work needed to be done as humans moved in. More than ever, he wished he could use her help dealing with these new changes.

Shirou’s eyes bled with pain. 

Ultimately, he was mistaken.

There was one thing that humans and beastkin actually _had_ in common: a short life span. 

\--

Shirou’s phone buzzed, freeing him of his sorrowful thoughts. He took the phone out of his pockets and looked at the number.

Unknown. 

Cautiously, Shirou lifted the phone to his ears.

“Hello, _lover boy_ .”  
  
That. _Fucking._ Voice. Shirou gritted his teeth as he instantly recognized the other party behind the call.  
  
“I see you’re still alive.”

“Oh, you know me, a man of many hats. Before you go crazy: don’t worry, I’ve _learned_ my lesson. But it’s only natural I know what has been going on in my facilities.”

“... Shut up. Tell me why you’ve called.”

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been taking many trips to this particular center and visiting a certain [pn]. In fact, this is your thirty fourth one.” 

“You’re accessing private information一”

“Private information that all belongs to me. You know... I still have complete ownership of my medical centers even though I’m not the chairman anymore.” The other person laughed at such a shrill matter that Shirou’s blood boiled as he continued to listen. 

“Well anyways, why don’t you come up to the top floor… We can continue this conversation from there. Let’s reconnect, immortal to immortal.”

The sneaky bastard was watching the security footage. Shirou abruptly ended the call and without another word pressed the up button at the elevator lobby. 

\--

Shirou finally reached the room at the end of the hallway. He walked into _____’s ward with the longly awaited takoyaki.

“Hey Shirou! I was beginning to wonder if something happened to you.”

“Sorry… I was held up.”

“No worries... We can go to the stalls again when I am out of this place. We have so many other things to try out!” 

_____ laughed. Shirou was no fool. There was distress in [ppr] tone. Now he was really pissed off at the blonde for derailing him from his task. He brought the box and placed it on [ppr] lap. _____ opened the box and sniffed its contents.  
  
“Shirou... this smells amazing. Let’s dig in now that you’re here!” 

[Ppr] picked up one of the balls with a toothpick and picked up another one for him. Shirou raised his brow, taking one from [ppr]. 

He bit into the takoyaki. As he chewed on the dough, he grimaced.

It was cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Notes:
> 
> Shoot, angst, :( Ah, feelings.
> 
> I have two objectives for my audience this week: 
> 
> If you can, sign this petition and/or share it so we can get justice for Breonna. 
> 
> https://www.change.org/p/andy-beshear-justice-for-breonna-taylor
> 
> And here's a mini-writing exercise inspired by The Raven Dream Warrior who asked "if you could look like a beastman what would you be", and to be honest, I am not sure! I am having trouble deciding what form I'd take on... *eyes profile picture*
> 
> Describe yourself as a beastkin in 2-3 sentences using at least 3 adjectives. Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	11. Secret Project

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz need sleep u____u 
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

You gripped the handrail with both of your hands as you continued to make your way up the stairs. The sounds of your heavy breathing echoed off of the walls and quickly dissipated into the flights’ abyss. You didn’t think you were going to make it, but you put way too much time and effort in this for you to stop now. Your palms were sticky. You were sweaty. Why were you doing this again? And what a rhetorical question: **you knew why**. Curiosity got the better of you once again as you searched for the secret project the hospital was working on.

“Hhhhh, damn… just… hhhhhh, a… bit more.”

The secret project: you overheard nurse Tsutsumi talking about it with her coworker one day while they were approaching your room. 

\--

You were flipping through the T.V channels with your remote. Daytime television was the worst: it was either a repeat clip of a sports game, overexaggerated drama, or petty television court. Eventually, you stopped at the same channel you’ve previously been watching; it was some boring sitcom featuring some boring plotline. Nothing to be excited over.

_“Did you ---- about the secret project, they are build--- the new ------ here.”_

_“Oh I know, I couldn’t ---- but look, it was so cool how the ------- looked. It’s supposed to be a ----ing ----- for pa------. Really g---- ------, wouldn’t expect h----ital to have one c-----ering that theres’ b----- any ----. ”_

_“--en do you think ---- will ---- it soon?”_   
  
_“It’s really ----- to being finished.”_   
  
_“In - month ---- now, the secret project ---- -- ----leted ”_

_“Did y-- know who’s ----ing it?”_

_“The S--vas-- foun------”_

_“Hm… of course. I ----- wait to go. It will -- re---- ref----ing.”_

_“Wonder what other ---ret -------- the hospital --- go--- on.”_

If only you had the ears of a rabbit, then you would really be able to listen in on their conversation. You dialed the T.V’s volume down so you could listen in even more. You propped yourself with your right hand and leaned in. Just when they were about to go over the whereabouts, they arrived at your room with your meal for lunch. 

_“Ah, _____, good afternoon, we brought you chicken noodle soup and saltine crackers.”_

_“Thank you, Tsutsumi,” you smiled._

You waited for the two nurses to leave before trying to eavesdrop again. To your disappointment, they were on another topic: something about checking in on another patient.  
  
You gained enough courage to ask nurse Tsutsumi about the secret project one day. She probably had a wealth of knowledge about this considering she was the original source of this information. Unfortunately, she shut down your attempts to get any additional information out of her. _“It was the hospital’s matter to deal with. You’ll find out soon enough.”_ She had a job to perform: it was probably not within her place to leak proprietary information to anyone beyond her cohort. Likewise, you had a role to fulfill as a recovering patient and had a lot of time to burn, sooooooo… 

What could hurt if you just searched around?

Thus began your hunt for whatever it was the hospital was building. As you continued your physical therapy sessions, you made sure to be hyper alert of any and all signs denoting that there was construction happening. In the beginning, you made sure to be discreet and not to go too far out of sight as your physical trainer kept an eye on you. You even suggested trying _new_ and _different_ places to do exercises in. They laughed. 

_“There is all of the equipment in the world over here and you want to walk around in the basement?”_

Your feeble attempts to find this secret project have brought you nothing, so you upped your ante. During your free time, you hobbled on your crutches and asked the staff if they knew of anything new being added to this hospital. 

The responses, to say, were inadequate. 

_“What?一”_

_“I didn’t know we had anything new being added?”_

_“When did we?”_

_“一Nonsense, all of our medical centers are fully equipped with the latest and greatest technology. Why would we have anything new being built?”_  
  
You had a few more weeks left in this hospital and your boredom was killing you. Come on you had to do at least one, cool, thing, in, here! And recovering from a king cobra’s bite definitely doesn’t count. 

So, you tried, tried, and tried. One floor after the next, you asked each of them: the nurses, doctors, staff, for more specific details regarding this secret project. 

You finally found a source after much determination.

No one would have thought twice that the janitor on floor fifty three would know about the secret project. You caught them: or it was more like the other way around, when they told you to slow down because they had just wiped the floors. You laughed until they told you it was a serious matter and that they’ve seen their fair share of nurses slipping on the slick vinyl. 

_“And get back to your ward! What are you doing walking around? Especially on crutches, [ph]?”_

_“Well...”_

You were, sort of desperate, at this point. You confessed that you were exploring the hospital’s floors because you overheard one of the nurses talking about a secret project in this hospital. 

_“Ah… what if I told you I just so happened to know?”_

Ah. There _it_ is. Enthusiastically, you raised both of your arms to clap and forgot that you were relying on the crutches, which fell to the floor. The janitor ‘ _tsk tsk’d_ ’ as they walked closer to you and picked up your crutches. 

Oops.

Once they gave you your crutches back, they smiled. In a hushed tone, they asked you if you would be willing to meet again at the end of the hallway at the same time the next day. You felt like a spy as you had clandestine meetings with them in the janitor’s closet. You learned that their name was Hiro and that this medical center was one of many distributed across Anima City. They also told you that allegedly, the person who owned this conglomerate is still alive. Now, how is that even possible? It had to be a legend made up by the locals. 

While doing maintenance, they noticed that there were people carrying equipment in the fire escape. What on earth were they doing? Who knew. But much like you, they were curious to find out more. Hiro was also in charge of cleaning the higher floors along with the other janitors where the executives had their pharma meetings. One day, while cleaning out one of the trash bins, they found a single piece of crumpled paper that was a ecru in color and a few millimeters thicker than the usual copy paper. Something this nice had to be important.  
  
They flattened the document against the wall, pointing to the etching of the entry point. 

_“Here’s the floor plan of the secret project, it says here that the only accessible entrance so far is by the stairs leading to the rooftop. Looks like… an elevator’s being built too, or that there are plans to have one, but that would take another year.”_

Hiro knew a lot more than they were letting on. They should be a detective or an architect! You were fresh out of school and you couldn’t even understand half of the numbers and letters on this blueprint. 

_“Wait, so the rooftop… that’s where they’re building this? Can you go with me? We can look and see what’s finally going on!”_

_“No can do, doll,” Hiro shook their head, “I’m holed up with my job. Are you gonna go?”_

You were finally going to check up on the secret project. You didn’t care if you had to crawl your way up. You pressed your index finger to your lips and smiled deviously,

_“Maybe.”_

_\--_

You were propped against the steel bar of the door now. It was cool to the touch in contrast to the rest of your body melting under the strain you had just put it through. You were catching your breath in the still of the darkness. Although therapy has been doing wonders for your mobility, you still had a long way to go to regain the strength you once had. 

Once you heard a ‘click’, you pushed with all of your back to move past the barrier separating the stairwell to the outside world. The door was able to smoothly move along with the momentum carrying it. You groaned as your vision was suddenly flooded by the blinding daylight.

Chirping can be heard from a distance as several birds flew away from their resting spot. 

You opened your mouth,

“Oh… so _this_ is the secret project?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what is the secret project? :P 
> 
> This week, I want to dedicate it to sleep, b/c I don't get enough of it. :")
> 
> Stress is always present in our lives. Take the time out of your day to take a nap if you feel really overwhelmed. Get yourself to the couch, or a floor, or even your bed (my nap spot for this is at the edge of it) curl up and nap. And if you can't nap, try taking one night to get that magical 8 hours of sleep. Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	12. That's it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Optional song to listen to in the beginning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2I8v8czq10

Once your eyes adjusted to the daylight, you focused on the details of the environment. You walked towards the open air, letting the heavy door shut behind you.

“I can’t believe this,” you murmured to yourself.

You were surrounded by several shades of green and viridescents. The vegetation spanned to the perimeter of the rooftop, as far as your eyes could see. You immediately spotted a plot of basil, tarragon, thyme, and sage. You closed your eyes and deeply inhaled. All sorts of scents inundated your nose, prickling it with delight. Deciphering everything would be impossible from where you were standing so you decided to take a few steps forward. You wobbled. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best idea to leave your crutches behind; you were never without them for longer than a few minutes. _Come on, you can do this._ You whispered some words of encouragement to yourself before moving forward.

There were several plots that were dedicated to a certain set of plants. In one row, there were fruit trees. In another, there were root vegetables. And there were plenty of other rows categorized in a similar fashion. You were impressed. The hospital did a fantastic job at labeling everything: there were even instructions for how many times a plant needs to be watered and how much sunlight it should receive in a day.

So, the secret project that you were looking for was a rooftop garden all along? You spent what, two-ish weeks searching for this?

You weren’t too disappointed; after all, this presented an opportunity to come back later and harvest some herbs. For garnishing... of course.

You were slowly walking along the brick path, admiring the hospital’s handiwork. Why would the hospital even build something like this? Especially something to this caliber. You had even more questions than ever.

You reached into the pocket of your hospital gown and pulled out your phone. There was only one person who you wanted to reveal your discovery to.

‘[2:03PM] Hey, you’ll never guess what I found’

You smiled at the screen and put your phone away. You wondered what Shirou would think of all of these plants. Would he be just as overwhelmed as you? Or would he use his wolf senses to sniff out all of the plant varieties that lived up here? You would like to imagine how he sniffed plants in his wolf form.

You took your phone out again to send another message.

‘[2:08PM] Do you like smelling plants?’

To think that this garden is sitting above millions of residents who don’t even know of its existence— unless they fly over it or land themselves in the hospital.

You stopped again to admire the scenery; you could just sit here all day if they allowed you to.

The click of the door instantly alerted you. You whipped your head around to see who was at the other end of the door. Actually— that was a terrible idea. You swiftly ducked down. You lost your grip halfway down and grasped at the ground in front of you in a feeble attempt to rebalance yourself. Your knees made contact with the floor first. You bit your lip.

This was going to leave a mark for later.

Thankfully, there were plenty of plants to hide you from plain view. You were just sweating minutes ago and now you were oozing with nervousness. Whoever was up here was taking their sweet time. Each time their heel met the floor, your heart dropped further and further into the pit of your stomach. You knew you shouldn’t be here right now, and it would suck to get in trouble considering that you still weren’t a resident of this city. Maybe there was still time to dive into the shrubs closeby?

You crept into the shadows of the star jasmine shrub, rustling some of the leaves as you hid yourself within it. You swore your heart was pounding out of your chest when you realized that you created more attention to yourself. You hoped that whoever it was had terrible hearing.

You held your breath as you heard footsteps make their way towards your direction. You covered your mouth with a hand to prevent yourself from making any further noise. You saw the hems of navy colored pants and a pair of leather loafers right in front of you. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, shit.

Shit.

The mysterious figure cleared his throat and brushed some of the foliage out of the way to reveal your hiding spot. The man looked very important and was clearly a few levels above the doctors clad in lab coats. Why was he alone? What was he doing here anyway? He probably wondered the same for you.

His cerulean ones met yours. He smiled.

“I think you left these behind, [ph].”

He held both of your crutches in his right hand.

“Oh.”

“I’m surprised you made it all the way over here without these, you could’ve gotten hurt, dear.”

Being called out like this was awkward.

“Ah… they were… getting burdensome to hold onto.”

You were beyond embarrassed that someone had walked in on you snooping around. You mumbled some more incoherent ‘sorry’s’ and ‘I didn’t mean to do this’. You fumbled around to untangle yourself from the shrubs. In the back of your mind, you were sort of creeped out by the sudden entrance. After all, it could have been a groundhog or a rabbit that made the sound... Perhaps yelling a ‘ _hello_ ’ would have been nice?

The man in front of you chuckled as you struggled with the flowers stuck to your hair.

“Allow me.” He leaned over and ran his hand through your hair to remove the last of the petals. You flattened your lip and looked at the floor; your heart was racing. Without a further warning, he pulled you to your feet by your arms like an owner would pick up their cat. Several leaves slid off of your gown and fell onto the floor. There laid your mess and mortification.

The man handed your belongings back. You placed each crutch under your arms and leaned onto them. Now that you were up and standing again, you had to explain your way out of this.

“Thank you… uh, this isn’t what it looks like! I’m not stealing anything!”

He mirthfully laughed, prompting a further explanation.

“I mean! I, I, overheard one of the nurses talking about it and I was sort of dying to know what was going on. And then I found this up here— and please don’t blame this on anyone! I just wanted to know!”

“You're quite the explorer, aren’t you?”

There was a hint of mockery and fascination in his tone. You focused on his shoulders in order to avoid further eye contact.

“I… I suppose I am?”

“Well, you’re probably wondering why all of this is up here.”

He motioned towards the garden. You slowly nodded.

“Uh sure! I would like to know... That is if you’re okay with spilling the beans to me.”

You were sort of shocked how nonchalant he was about your presence.

He continued, “With pleasure. Sylvasta Pharmaceuticals has always put our patients first. What you’re seeing is the experimental rooftop garden we’ve been building for our staff to use. We’ve been surveying our patients and have noticed an uptick in the dissatisfaction of their meals. One of the common remarks that we kept getting was how blasé everything tasted.”

You tittered: that was sort of true and you’d hate to deny that.

He placed a hand over his chest, “And as a board member, I simply cannot ignore this. I was the one who advocated for us to fix this issue. Thankfully... the others listened after much debate. I knew we were also looking into ways that the hospital can save on costs incurred in our operations. As this grows, we’re going to slowly phase out our current food services partner. And how wonderful would this be in the long run as we expand this concept to our other facilities.”

He blissfully sighed, “So, in the grand scope of things, this is our initiative to deliver fresher ingredients to our patients while saving a little more.”

You snorted before laughing, “That’s… sort of funny, what is this place, like a full blown restaurant?”

The man gradually widened his eyes before joining you in laughter,

“I suppose you could say that.”

You were relieved that he wasn’t ushering you to leave quite just yet.

“Well… I love it. Thank you for solving the questions I didn’t even know I had!.”

“Normally, rooftop access is reserved for staff… However, seeing as you managed to get yourself all the way up here, l think a tour is needed.”

He pointed to the left,

“We can start our way here and round off the entire floor. Does that sound good to you?”

What a surprise! You were expecting this conversation to go further south but you were about to get an all access pass by a board member of this hospital. You hoped that you weren’t taking too much of his time.

Was it sheer dumb luck that you two met for the first time?

“Yeah. That sounds good!”

\--

The man started going into detail about the floor’s layout and why each row was organized the way it was. He also explained why the rows were placed in a particular order. Apparently, certain plants grew better when they were clustered together in a certain fashion. He was prideful in describing all of this to you; he cited that this might be due to the fact that he had a hand in picking out some of the things to grow. How odd for a man in a blazer: doing this seemed like more of a botanist's job. Regardless, you were ecstatic to hear that he knew so much about the plants here.

You asked him to identify some of the herbs that you haven’t heard of before. Another fun fact he spewed to you was that some of these plant’s extracts were used for experimental drugs produced in the other labs.

The hospital’s initiatives were interconnected. The experimental drugs would be given out to study participants, free of charge, in exchange for their data. That in turn, will allow the hospital to further its line of medicines to everyday beastkin. Then there were other plans for the garden’s excess crops to be given out to food pantries so that there was zero to no waste.

“What about winter? How will you continue to grow your plants?”

“We’re currently in the process of installing a mechanical dome that will expand over the entire rooftop when the temperatures drop below twenty-two degrees Celsius.”

Everything was truly thought through. There was even a rainwater collection system that will store water for later use. The conversation continued as he talked about this hospital being a part of a bigger network of hospitals belonging to the Sylvasta Pharmaceuticals corporation.

“We specialize in medicine for beastkin currently, but if the humans want it; one day we could partner with more hospitals to lend our research and help them.”

You meekly nodded in agreement. This man seemed really dedicated to growing this hospital and helping both beastkin and humans coexist.

\--

You arrived at the center of the garden, which had a small bird bath fountain. Two birds could be seen perched on the edge of the bone colored marble. Several apple trees circled the surrounding area: their tall branches provided some shade from the sun. Growing alongside these were rosemary bushes that produced a scent so akin to Thanksgiving dinner. You stopped trailing behind the man after he turned around,

“And that concludes our tour.”

“Thank you, very very much, sir, for taking your time to show all of this to me.”

“It is no problem at all. And by the way, you can call me Alan.”

“Well, Alan… I appreciate the wealth of knowledge. I love all of this!”

You would clap if you could. He probably knew that too. You expected the conversation to end there... but something else was rousing his mind.

“One last thing... You’re probably wondering what I was even doing up here in the first place and how I found you.”

You were caught off guard by his statement. You averted his eyes once again as you spoke,

“O-oh, I mean… it’s, not an issue really…”

He smirked, “Come on, not even a _little_ curious? Don’t you want to know how I put two and two together with the crutches?”

“Noo… not at all. I, mean, the crutches could have been anyone’s. They could have been left behind by staff or they could have been mine. You were lucky in guessing who they belonged to.”

“Are you _sure_ about that?”

“I’m positive. You were just, making a deduction? I wasn’t suspecting you of anything!”

“You can humor me a little, can’t you? After all, I did just give you the tour of a lifetime.”

“I’m really, really, sure I wasn’t.”

He wasn’t buying your excuses.

“Well, luckily for you, I am a person of great influence around these parts of Anima City.”

It was eerily cocky, the way he spoke.

“One of my security members on duty alerted me of your presence as soon as you exited the stairwell. Usually, I’d let them handle it from there with their best judgement. After all, this project is still under the wraps.”

You gulped.

“— But, seeing as it was you, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I was already on my way from the main medical center to talk to the other stakeholders of this garden project, but I didn’t expect a patient to be _running_ around in it.”

There it was again, the mockery that laced his words.

“Especially you of all people. Hasn’t your curiosity put you in danger before?”

You were getting confused. What did you do that would require him and not the security guard?

“I’m, sorry…? I didn’t. I didn’t mean to?”

“You somehow caught his interest.”

The shift in conversation’s topic threw you even further for a loop. Who was he referring to? Alan looked at you, almost with a twinkle in his eyes, and merrily asked,

“Do you know who Shirou is?”

You raised your brow, “I do… what is he to you?”

He smiled, “Oh just a very old friend.”

He took a step forward. You took a step back.

“But, you’re just a plain human being, aren’t you?”

“Yeah… I’m a human.” You frowned. Your body was tensing up as you had a feeling this situation wasn’t going to end well.

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

He rested his cheek on his index finger and crossed his left arm over his upper body.

“Nothing… you’re just a human being, who was hurt on [ppr] first day here in Anima City. For you to draw the attention of the great and mighty silver wolf, is truly impressive.”

You were getting agitated, “Look, I came here to become a resident. I did not ask for trouble. And that’s some utter nonsense… Shirou isn’t the silver wolf. That’s impossible considering the silver wolf is over a thousand years old.”

“Oh but it is. Isn’t it so typical, that a human would tell me [ppr] prejudiced beliefs again.”

He walked closer to you. You took a few step backs and awkwardly struggled with getting your crutches to follow in the same direction.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that. I just, mean that Shirou just can’t be a thousand years old. At best he’s in his mid twenties! S-so stop bullshitting me!”

“Why don’t you ask him then… he’s a lot more than who you think he is.”

You were getting even more uncomfortable as he closed the distance between you two. Did he also have access to the hospital’s visitors? How did this big shot man even know Shirou of all the people in this city? Not to mean to him, but Shirou wasn’t even close to a celebrity. He wouldn’t know who this man is. Why would he? This guy seemed way too uppity to talk to random strangers. You were trying to justify everything that was happening right now.

This has got to be some kind of joke and you were on some reality T.V show. Yeah, that’s got to be it! You looked around,

“Alright cut it out guys, funny prank, ha ha, I get it I’m on a show.”

“There’s no show, dear. This is real.”

He leaned over, bending down to your height, making sure his mouth loomed over your ears.

“It would be terrible, if something were to happen to you.”

His breath tickled your ears. You shuddered as chills went down your spine. His left arm swooped around your waist, throwing off your balance. You yelped. In an anxious fight to regain your composure, you dropped your crutches.

No matter: you were already in Alan’s hold. He laughed once again,

“I’m really getting a kick out of your performance. Humans truly are weak and utterly stupid.”

Your face was beet red from a mixture of anger and fear. You parted your lips to speak,

“That’s rich, c-coming from someone who just told me I was prejudiced. Aren’t you a human?”

“Another misconception… but for now… let’s just say I am. How would you know that?”

“You… I… I don’t know.”

“Dear _____, you don’t think a beastkin can be as successful as a human?”

“Not at all! I-I believe in them. I know there are plenty of successful beastkin as much as there are humans.”

You tried to shake yourself away from his hold, and in return he tightened his grip.

“Now… entertain me. How would you get out of a situation if…”

He harshly squeezed the area of your hip where you were originally injured. You grimaced. Intrusive thoughts about your first day in Anima City flashed through your mind again. He turned your face towards his. Your throat tightened; your eyes were desperately fighting to not spill the tears that welled within your body.

“Someone attacked you in the same fashion as that _man_. Would you survive again?”

Your chest rose up and down as anxiety bubbled itself to the surface. Don’t cry. What was going to happen? Don’t cry. Was this the end? Don’t cry, you’re braver than this.

Almost instantaneously, he noticed your shakiness. He flashed his teeth, which glinted from the reflecting light from the floor.

“There’s no one up here but me and you.”

You attempted to pry his hand off your waist but was no match for his strength.

“Ah ah, don’t struggle you’ll only make it worse… Now, where would he be to save you?”

“I’m, n-not sure… why—”

He dipped your body lower. Out of fear, you instinctively reached out and held onto the lapels of his blazer. You were now alarmingly close to Alan and you both knew that. He had complete control over whether you would fall or not: the keeper of your fate. You were taking deeper breaths to compose yourself. If you fought back, you feared something worse would happen just like the first day here.

If a snake landed you in the hospital then you were terrified of what this person was capable of.

This was not okay at all.

He further leaned in. A few strands of flyaway hairs brushed against your face as his breath tickled your ears. Your body was on overdrive and so was your mind. The clouds around you seemed to spin endlessly as the world seemed to darken.

“You should be careful. He’s not who you think he is.”

He pressed his body against yours. You squeezed your eyes shut, unable to fathom what would happen—

“A-ah!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait what, that's it? :O 
> 
> Self reflection can be a good thing. In a world of chaos, it is important to focus on something positive even if everything around you seems bleak. This week, write down something that has made you happy. It doesn't matter how small, it can be as little as that the pillow you lay your head on or something big. Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	13. A Blemish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

Alan nipped your outer ear with his teeth. You froze as you suddenly felt the sharp pain blossom to your lobe.

What on earth was happening.

You slowly opened your eyes. Slowly but surely, the slurry of whites and blues became clouds and the sky again. You held your breath, listening to the soft sound of teeth against skin.

This guy that you just met. Who gave you a tour of this secret project. Who knew Shirou. Who claimed that his age was beyond the twenty something years you assumed to be true. Is now biting your ear? Genuinely, you were kind of expecting something worse to happen. A weird mixture of relief and fear washed over you when you realized that you were still alive. Of all of the possibilities that Alan could have pursued to murder you, he certainly chose one of the most unorthodox methodologies.

And you certainly weren't expecting this... this weird indulgence of some underlying fetish?

Fuck, this was so weird.

A blush crept its way to your cheeks. Your fingers trembled as you wrinkled his blazer with your tightening clutch. Every tiny movement you made was pure entertainment for him; you were simply the comedic relief in the movie that he was directing. If you shifted your legs, he would bite a little harder. If you arched your back, he'd even run his tongue lightly over your ears. He continued to nibble away until he elicited another whimper. His lips grazed against your ear as his lips curled,

"Such a strange human being: you act so frightened, but it looks like you're enjoying this."

His arrogance radiated like the sun on this summer afternoon. You'd love to prove him wrong. You didn't care how important he was to this hospital; nothing could justify anything short of what he was doing right now. You tried to pull your head away, but all you did was exacerbate his bite.

"S-stop, ah— biting my ear."

This was clearly a perverted businessman who clearly needed to reconsolidate with his significant other so that he can stop projecting his fantasies on random strangers.

"Maybe when you stop lying, sweetheart."

Nope. At this point, you didn't care if he dropped you. He can go to hell for all you cared. This was enough exploring for one day. You craved only for the comfort and safety of your ward now. You abruptly pushed your arms against his chest,

"How's this for lying— g-get the fuck off of me!"

His grip on your hips remained steady. But to your surprise, he stopped biting your ear. A thin string of saliva trailed from his lips as he pulled away to face you once more.

"What, you didn't enjoy that?"

He cocked his head to the side.

Your eyes widened, "No! I didn't! You bit me!"

You held a hand over your throbbing ear. You could feel the remnants of the slick from his mouth and couldn't help but shudder again. You wiped your hand on your gown to remove it from your fingers.

"Or."

He smiled deviously, lifting you back on your feet so that you both were standing up straight. He gently lifted your chin up and stared into your eyes.

"Would you rather have our dear boy Shirou do that to you?"

"No! That's—" your voiced trailed off into a barely audible whisper, "somessedup."

A deeper shade of rose emerged from your cheeks as you battled with skittish thoughts of physical affection from Shirou. You didn't want to imagine him doing this. You had no intentions of ruining a perfectly good friendship and you most certainly couldn't imagine the poor guy doing that.

"Are you saying you don't like him then?"

You liked Shirou. You really liked him as a friend, but was there more to you two than that? You were appreciative of everything he's done for you and felt like you owed him the world. In your tiny town you've known as your life, you had nothing but unrealistic expectations and pain. In Anima City, you had the world: even if you were in the hospital for now. And you had Shirou to help you pick up the pieces that you were missing. You were eager for every visit he paid you. Every visit, every conversation, every stupid moment: it brought a feeling that you haven't felt before.

"I, I don't like him! I mean, he's a friend. I like him as a friend."

"You're lying again. I can hear it in your voice."

Did you like Shirou? Was it the pitter patter that came from your heart or from the nurses that passed by your room? The butterflies in your stomach: surely those were born from the desire to relieve you of your boredom. What else could make you feel so airy whenever he came?

Was what you were feeling more than contentment for a friendship and more of a yearning for endearment?

"How do you even know us? I mean—how would you even know that we knew each other?"

"You're speaking to someone who has full access to all staff and information in the Sylvasta Pharmaceuticals corporation."

"I... am pretty sure looking up my info is not allowed."

"Not when you own the business."

"That, doesn't seem right—"

"Shhh, enough."

Without a warning he held your right wrist and walked forward towards you. You jerked your hand back, but you knew you weren't going to go anywhere far. With his other hand by your waist, Alan made sure that you couldn't escape. Your sock clad feet were no match for his sturdy leather protected ones. You had no choice but to mirror his steps until your back met the bark of one of the surrounding trees.

You flinched again.

"I'm only looking out for the well-being of both human and beastkin. Isn't that important to you?"

You were caught in a corner with his mind games. Your morals lied in unity; to separate the two races would go against everything that you believed in.

"Yes... but, why, why are you doing this? Why do you need to know if I like Shirou?"

He took your other wrist and lifted both above your head. He eventually switched his grip so that one hand had both wrists and the other was under your chin.

"I'll spare you the details... but let's just say, he did something awful to prevent the unification of both races."

You tried to wriggle your way out of his hold as he continued.

"And a hundred years ago, in order to save his pride, your so called friend destroyed the cure for beastkin that Sylvasta Pharmaceuticals was working on."

"W-what, are you...what are you talking about?"

Curiosity was what opened the pearly gates to hell, didn't you know?

"Why don't you ask Shirou himself?"

"I told you, he's not that old!"

"How naïve."

Alan effortlessly lifted your hands, creating a greater strain on your upper body as you stood on your toes.

"He has a terrible, terrible, debt to pay back."

Alan turned your head to the side and leaned closer to your neck.

"Stop, being, petty, and talk it out with him then if he owes you."

"I'd love to civil but... I hate playing fair."

You narrowed your eyes in response.

He merrily laughed, "Don't worry, I'm only really interested in how he'll react if..." His voice trailed off. Murder by strangulation? Stabbing? Throwing you or him off of the roof?

"Well, I won't spoil the surprise. I'll find out soon enough for myself."

You saw red. You suddenly raised your knee to his crotch and kicked him with all of your might.

You elicited a whisper of a gasp. As shocked as you were, you mustered the strength to counter back.

"Fight... your own battles without me."

For a moment, Alan stood still. One could say he was at a loss of words. You were starting to think that you proved your point after all, "Whatever happens between me and Shirou, is none of your business. And what you want to do with him, is none of mine. So, fuck off!"

He gaped at you before laughing. Was everything a joke to him? You tried pushing away and barely managed to get a centimeter away from him.

You groaned in frustration, "I can't—why? Why are you doing this?!"

He sighed, "Such a talkative one," he brushed some of his fly away hairs back.

"I'm not sure why he sticks around you. I certainly wouldn't with that attitude."

You continued to thrash around, much like a fish out of water. You were panting as each maneuver proved itself futile. Moreover, he looked like he had barely moved. Holding you down was a piece of cake.

"Did you not, hear me the first time! I. Said. Fuck. Off!"

A bead of sweat formed at your forehead. His eyes focused on the glistening drip as it trailed along the contours of your cheeks and neck. Alan shook his head with pity, pinching the bridge of his nose to exaggerate his contempt.

"I'm also not sure why he enjoys smelling this dirty dishrag of a scent. Do you even shower as instructed by the nurses here?"

You glared at him, "F-fuck, off! Who says this stuff?"

"You wouldn't understand, being human and all, what the beastkin here smell."

"I'm n-not sure why you're trying to get closer to the smell of three-day old wet food on a plate... ah..."

He leaned down and lifted your chin up so that he could rest his nose against your neck. It tickled. You leaned your head as far back as you could, pressing your head into the thick grains of the tree bark.

"You smell truly..."

Like a critique ready to dissect the plate in front of them, Alan closed his eyes and deeply inhaled,

"— disgusting."

"H-hey!"

Who said this kind of stuff?!

"But I suppose... it could get addicting over time, under the right circumstances."

You let out a stifled squeak when his grip tightened. All you could see was the back of his blazer and some blonde hair. He dragged his lips along your skin in an excruciatingly slow manner. You knew what was coming and there was going to be hell to pay later when you got out of this. When he finally reached a sensitive part: one that elicited a mewl, he sucked at the soft flesh.

"Ah!"

And that was the sound he liked to hear. 

Your skin was taught as Alan worked his masterpiece on your neck. The tips of your fingers started to prickle as they cooled from the lack of blood circulation. You bit on your lip and closed your eyes in order to focus on your thoughts. You weren't going to give in and entertain Alan anymore. You were angry at yourself for trying to explore the unknown and getting caught in this petty fight between a businessman and your friend. You needed answers from Shirou too. Who was he really? There was no way he was this god, as depicted by past civilizations: you couldn't believe Alan. He had to be wrong.

But, you really wished Shirou was here to end all of this.

"P-please." 

It was barely louder than a whisper. Maybe you thought a little too loud: you had given Alan more fuel to continue.

He momentarily paused, "Why don't you try that again, see if he even comes if you call his name."

Was he mocking you?

He returned to your neck, working to deepen the reddish hue that was starting to form. Somehow, somewhere along the way, you've lost focus on concentrating. You were slightly panting, as a strange sensation of pleasure and pain washed over you. 

No. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. You wanted to be back in bed, spewing off a story about your childhood to him. You squeezed your thighs together; Alan made it really tough to think clearly. 

"Shirou-oh." You huffed as you felt a bolt of heat strike your core. Maybe, just maybe, by some stretch of the imagination he would show up.

A footstep alarmed the two of you. The two of you looked over to where the source of the sound came from. Nor too far from the center of the garden was the snowy haired man, who looked the least of happy right now. Shirou narrowed his eyes as he looked at Alan.

"I suggest you leave [ppr] alone."

"Ah, so our guest has finally arrived."

"Shirou!"

"Welcome to the party, Shirou boy; are you going to join in too?" He released your skin, creating a 'pop' that resonated into the air.

"S-stop it!" 

You pushed the intrusive thoughts that he planted out of your head. This was not the time to think of such racy things!

Shirou took another step forward,

"Leave. We've already talked."

"And to take your word for it? You're a filthy filthy liar, Shirou."

"You're taking this too far, let [ppr] go."

"Did I tell you how much I disliked liars." Alan pulled his hand back from your chin, revealing the plum and cherry colored bruise on your neck. Shirou stared at the mess in front of him. It took him a moment to realize what had happened. He instantly transformed into his wolf form and growled.

"You..."

Alan smirked, "Not so fast, or [ppr] gets it."

Shirou gritted his teeth. Like a soldier, he quickly obeyed Alan's orders. There was something terrifying about the wolf listening to someone else. Alan smirked at him before looking at you again,

"So you'd do anything to protect this one over here, right?"

He let your wrists go; your arms fell to your side like timber. In freedom's place, Alan held his hand over your throat. It was so sudden that you choked on your spit. You tried to pry his hand off but struggled as his dull fingernails dug their way into your skin.

"Stop it!" Shirou yelled.

Ignoring his demands, Alan continued, "Awww, how sweet. And here I was beginning to think that you didn't have feelings for this little human."

He lifted his hand up, dragging you along. Once again, you were on your toes. You let out a yelp as you tried to get out of his hold.

"You should be more careful of who visits you, _____,"

"F....u-fu-ck..."

"Stop bullshiting. Get your hands off of [ppr]," said Shirou. He balled his hands into fists.

"Okay, you asked for it, lover boy."

You were lifted a few more inches off of the floor. Alan possessed an incredibly terrifying amount of strength for his age. You held onto his arm as you thrashed your legs around. A few tears also slipped out of your eye. Your raised brow was joined by the other one as he suddenly threw you to the side. The garden around you bled into horizontal stripes of greens, blues, and reds.

You were flying through the air and watched the world zoom by.

Afterwards, Alan took a few steps back, admiring the chaos he created before quickly jumping away from the scene and into the depths of Anima City.

Shirou rushed to catch you before you hit the floor. He managed to put himself underneath you, and you both landed onto a nearby shrub. Several leaves were displaced, fluttering in the air.

You were gasping for air as you held your throat. When he realized he was still holding you, Shirou released his arms, allowing you to slide off of his body and onto the floor. He sniffed the air and grimaced.

"..."

You coughed as you held the floor for support. Some of your saliva nearly lodged itself into your lungs after that ordeal. You continued to cough into your right hand until you felt like you had a handle on your breath again.

Once your heart rate returned to normal, you looked at Shirou.

"Thank you... I... that. I don't know what happened."

Your voice was hoarse. He was the first one who stood up. He soon extended a hand to help you get back on your feet. You reached out to hold his hand and Shirou gracefully pulled you up. You brushed some of the dirt off of your gown.

Shirou spoke, "I didn't think he would do this."

He looked at you with an unreadable expression. You knew that he knew You tried to hide the damage with your right hand.

"This... I, uh, I, didn't really know, I, that—"

"I know." Shirou put his hand on your shoulder.

It felt comforting to know he was here now. You closed your eyes and blissfully sighed. Thank whatever higher being was out there watching out for you.

For a while, it was silent. You weren't sure what to say. You had a lot of questions for Shirou, ones that were born from Alan's accusations. Was it the right time to ask those now? Or maybe you should ask him how he knew you were up here. Yeah! That would be a good place to start.

You looked at him, "Hey... so..."

He quietly placed his other hand on your right shoulder. You tried to look into Shirou's eyes, but he wouldn't allow it. There was too much fur in the way for you to see past the wisps of grey and white. You twiddled with your fingers, trying to think of something that would break the silence between the two of you.

"Uh? Shirou?" You nervously laughed.

His grip was firm, but his hand began to tremble. He looked towards the floor, avoiding any possible eye contact with you. You bit your lip, trying to decipher his feelings. Hesitatively, you reached out to get his attention.

"Hey, hello? Are you good, champ?" You waved a hand in front of him.

"Fucking bastard," he muttered. He leaned down, looking at the bruised skin that spanned over your neck like a bushfire.

"S-Shirou...?"

You could feel his breath puff against your skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo why he gotta do that? I...
> 
> Anyhoo, 
> 
> This week, partake in something that you haven't done in a while. For example, if you like to draw and haven't done it, go and doodle something. Or if you solely exist on the internet, reignite your love for something you haven't done. Is it LARPing? Cosplaying? Who knows! Revisit the hobby that you liked so much. Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	14. Crimewave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes:
> 
> Before the scene of the crime.
> 
> Optional music to listen to as you read: youtube.com/watch?v=OCwm08sTA5U
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

_“Where were you on the twenty third?”_

_“C’mon man, I did nothing wrong— I was assisting Matsuki for a fundraiser to, you know, help the Joolim Orphanage. I had to meet some of the vendors who were late to the walk through: that’s why I wasn’t anywhere near the site. We are extremely on a tight budget and can’t afford to lose time. Ya know how it is with people being late n’ all.”_

_“According to the transcripts, you weren’t.”_

_“I swear was out! Whaddya want from me? And where did you get those papers from, huh?”_

_“Answer me truthfully; where were you?”_

_“I told you, I was meeting up with the vendors who weren’t showing up! They weren’t responding to our calls!”_

_“And you had all of six months to plan this stunt?”_

_“N-no, what the hell, kid. No, we weren’t expecting this!”_

As the other pulled on their collar and continued to ramble, Shirou closed his eyes. The world dimmed into a pitch black and the vestiges of objects laid themselves out on front of him. He began to follow the traces of evidence that the other left behind. Even if the suspect refused to come clean, Shirou would make sure to expose the missing clues.  
  
They were in a small car, preparing some documents on the side. The only other person in the vehicle was the chauffeur. Such a luxury: were they the director of compliance for a philanthropic initiative or a greedy conglomerate?

There were seven vendors in total who this person could have contacted. Each one was distinctly located within the midtown and upper-east side of Anima City. The car went past the streets and into the slums. By this point, the car was far away from the roads that lead to the vendors’ businesses. The car then made a right into the port, where there were several cargo ships docked in the distance. The director could have been taking a detour, but that seemed too convenient of an excuse.

After the chauffeur parked the car on the side, he opened the passenger door for the director. After getting out of their car, the director took a few papers out of the folder in their hand. They aligned all of their edges together before looking at their watch. More meaningless details flashed across Shirou’s mind. He was looking for someone or something, that would implicate this person.

Shirou further concentrated on his thoughts.

Eventually, another car pulled up to the one by the director. An unfamiliar person stepped out with a cigarette in his mouth. He wasn’t dressed too out of the ordinary: baseball cap, sweatshirt, and some joggers. That must have been a rogue contact. They were conversing before the other pulled out another pair of documents that were identical to the ones that the director had. If only he could understand the conversation, Shirou would be able to pinpoint the culprit and convict them.

Later on, the two swapped their documents with each other. The real files weren’t even on the director; that was where the police had it wrong.

The director finally got back into their car. The chauffeur closed the door for the director and bowed to the other before driving the two out of the docks. Shirou continued to track the car until another passed by in the opposite direction. In a split second he saw the faint outline of coiffed hair.

_“So I had to meet Itsu—shit, I mean my friend because I left them there.”_

The hairs along his arms stood up as he realized who it was.

_“—and that’s why it couldn’t have been me. You got the wrong guy man.”_

He immediately snapped his eyes open.

_“…”_

_“Hey, dude are you even listening to me? I just spent all this time tryna explain to you why, it couldn’t have been me.”_

_“…”_

The director feverishly looked around before scratching their head, _“What kind of investigation is this? I told you I just got done explaining, can I go now?!”_

Shirou felt uneasy. Under normal circumstances, strangers were typically irrelevant to an investigation. At least, that was what Shirou wished this person was. His mind flashed back to the last conversation he had with a certain blonde.

\--

_“Took you long enough to come up here. You know, it’s rude to be late to an invitation.”_

_“You were the one who unexpectedly invited me up here.”_

_“True. Oh, I’m so devious, aren’t I?”_

The other rubbed his knuckles against his blazer before flexing his hand and admiring it with a smile.

_“Stop wasting my time and tell me why you wanted me to come up here.”_

Alan’s voiced dripped with sarcasm, _“Since you asked so nicely, Mr. I-believe-in-all-beastkin,”_

Shirou wanted to roll his eyes but dared to give the satisfaction to the other.

_“Anyways, I know it has only been a few decades since I’ve, retired from my position... And I bet you— of all people, sleep in peace knowing that my plans to unite all of us failed.”_

_“That wasn’t what it looked like all those years ago.”_

_“You just didn’t catch the memo, Shirou boy. But I promise you, I truly, truly, wanted us to come together as one.”_

Alan sighed, turning his back to Shirou as he walked towards the window overlooking the city.

“ _I’ve been thinking in exile and trying to understand why you did what you did… You know I totally get it: who wouldn’t want to take care of those who constantly pray to you. If you don’t help the beastkin out, then… everyone will eventually stop believing in the silver wolf and then… your entire purpose— your existence,”_

Alan looked over his shoulder _, “becomes meaningless.”_

Despite being far away from the other, Shirou could see the smirk plastered on Alan’s lips.

_“Do you actually care for the citizens here because you genuinely do, or do you care because you crave attention? How many more years of this could you endure? For centuries, for eternity? Is that what you’ve reduced yourself to: a narcissistic god that saves others on the pretense of being for the beastkin?”_

Alan paused before turning around with a smile on his face,

_“Oh, I’m sorry, you’ll have to forgive me: I like to ramble a lot.”_

It took every fiber in Shirou’s being to not smash the blonde’s skull into the ground.

_“I don’t know how you do it. I certainly wouldn’t have that kind of patience. If it were left up to me, I would wipe the slate clean: that way we wouldn’t have to worry about an Anima City or Anima City’s future for that matter. Everything would go back to normal.”_

_“Stop assuming things.”_

Alan tapped his cheek with his index finger.

_“Hmmmm, but you just couldn’t let that happen. What was it about the beastkin, and for that matter, humans now, that you care so much about anyways? Don’t they cause more trouble than good?”_

_“H—"_

_“You think what I tried to do was unorthodox, but I think it’s quite smart. Think about it: no more beastkin, no more race wars.”_

_“…”_

\--

Shirou snapped out of his thoughts: he should really finish up with the investigation before he was distracted again. He looked at the director,

_“You were by the ports.”_

_“U-uh, yes, I mean, I wasn’t by the ports. What makes you think that?”_

_“Lying to me will only result in a longer sentence in jail.”_

_“No… no. No, no, I wasn’t!”_

Shirou stared at him in disbelief.

_“Come on… you gotta believe me,”_

_“Answer. Me.”_

_“Okay, okay… Sheesh… So you want to really know the truth? I—"_

Shirou closed his eyes again.

He followed the car again. It took multiple turns through the smaller streets and through a narrow alleyway at one point. The car ended up by another section in the city: far away from the vendors for the fundraiser. The car stopped by an unmarked building. A masked individual waited by the entrance to let the director inside.  
  
With the switched documents in their hand, the director walked towards what seemed to be a waiting area. A group of people entered the room shortly afterwards. They conversed for a while before one of them brought a package wrapped in plastic to the director. It was no larger than the size of a soccer ball. After examining the package thoroughly, the director left the building.

  
What did the package have to do with the missing funds from the organization?

\--

After following the director’s trail for a while, Shirou became confused. Nothing they were doing was making sense, yet they showed up to the fundraiser event just on time with the package they obtained. It was strange: the case said that there was a sizeable amount of the non-profit’s budget that was never accounted for.

Perhaps if he found out what was in the package, Shirou would have a better idea of what to do with the director.

Shirou watched the silhouette of the director carefully cut the box open with a X-Acto knife, breaking the plastic seal and the paper wrap. The director put the knife away and lifted the box’s lids. The director pulled out the bubble wrapped object from the box and placed it onto the table in front. One by one, the director pulled the packaging away and revealed a large snow globe.

Shit.

Shit.

_Shit._

_“I was looking for them because I accidentally left the paperwork at our office—"_

Everything was a distraction. Everything that he followed until this point has deviated him further and further from the truth. He had to retrace his steps again. Shirou growled, startling the other.

_“A snowglobe? You went down to the ports to exchange papers for a snowglobe?”_

Nervously, the director started laughing.

_“Y-yes… yes. Yep. Ha ha haha! That’s it. I went to the ports to get a snowglobe for one of our auction items.”_

He had just wasted his time following the director into a dead end.

_“Hah-ha… ha! So, you see, that’s why it couldn’t have been me. It was never me. I was just phoning a friend to get some documents I left at my office to hand over to the specialists over in the lower west side. We had contracts that needed to be signed off.”_

Whether the director was actually the one who led the scheme or assisted with it, they were still guilty of being involved with this embezzlement. There was no doubt about it, but there was still another part of the truth to uncover. Shirou took a deep breath and sighed,

_“Don’t think you’re off the hook yet: your earlier statement and actions contradict with your confession.”_

  
He had to quickly act. Shirou needed to go to the area by the ports to further assess the situation. He brought his phone out to call the director of the police.

\--

_“Hey, so what’s the verdict?”_

_“Put them in custody for now. They’re still a suspect and I wasn’t able to clear things through yet. There’s a second suspect in question.”_

_“Hey! What happened to innocent until proven guilty?”_

Shirou stared at them, _“You dug your grave as soon as you tried to lie me.”_

\--

Many buildings flew by as Shirou dashed across the streets. He had to find the traces of the evidence that was left behind before they were masked by the sea’s salty air. It was going to be absolute hell deciphering between one scent and the others. But he had many questions that only the trail of the other contact could offer.

When he finally arrived at the port, Shirou paused to catch his breath. He looked around: nothing was too out of the ordinary. The cranes have temporarily stopped for the day. The area here tended to be more active during the earlier hours of the morning. He closed his eyes to locate the last place the director met with the other contact.

He walked over to a pillar by one of the docks. As far as he could tell, the scent was the strongest there.

Shirou looked down and tried to sort through the trash that laid along the crevices of the wooden planks. Several cans of soda, old detergents, and bags could be found amongst the litter. Likewise, he kneeled down and located the remnants of the cigarette butt left behind by the rogue contact.

Shirou was brought back to the scene in which the director and the rogue contact met with each other. He knew what happened _then_ but what was important was what happened _afterwards_. Once the individual went back into his car, he waited for the director to leave. The contact finished the bitter ends of' the cigarette before throwing it out to the side. He turned on his car and started driving it in the direction he came from.

Instead of following the director’s car, Shirou was now following that of the rogue contact’s. While the director was headed towards the west side of the city, the other made his way towards the center. This so called ‘friend’ of the director was still suspicious to Shirou: there was no way the previous exchange was simply just for documents left behind at the office.

As the contact slowed down in the midtown area, Shirou felt semi relieved to know that he would be able to crack the case soon. The smell of the sea air here was getting nauseating anyways.

Shirou made his way to where the car was parked last.

\--

Looming on the corner of 36th and 4th was the hospital that _____ currently stayed in. What an uncanny coincidence it was that he would wrap the case up around this area. Shirou glanced at the two messages displayed on his phone,

_‘[2:03PM] Hey, you’ll never guess what I found’_

_‘[2:08PM] Do you like smelling plants?’_

As much as he wanted to entertain the mindless inquiries, Shirou was too wrapped up with this investigation. He would just have to answer them later.

Shirou walked by a grocery store and leaned against the adjacent brick wall, quickly scanning the area. The rogue contact’s car was long gone now. In its place was a small red car that probably belonged to one of the nearby residents. Several people passed by the area. Mothers with their children. Businessmen holding a gyro from a nearby food cart. Adolescents strolling along with their friends. This city really bumbled with life, and Shirou couldn’t have been prouder of it in that moment.

He closed his eyes once more to examine the past.

The rogue contact was attempting to find parking. Once he found an appropriate spot, he pulled into the area and made his way to a neighboring meter. He took some coins out of his pocket and inserted them into the machine’s slot. He took the documents by the driver’s seat, locked the car, and walked towards the end of the street.

While making his way, the contact quickly looked around to make sure that he wasn’t being followed. Ironically, his mistake was brushing past a few of the poles and buildings as he tried to evade the passerbys on the street. Each individual had a unique scent to them that helped Shirou narrow each case down to the tiniest detail. And for that he was thankful for the unknowing cooperation of nature.

The rogue contact waited by the corner as the light turned red.

Shirou made his way towards the same corner, picking up on the contact’s trail. As he walked, Shirou wondered how this case was going to end. The criminals in this city seemed to get craftier every time a new investigation occurs. This presented arising problems to Shirou as he worked to maintain order in this city, but he was determined to mitigate everything.

\--

  
It turned out that the rogue contact was working with a third person to forge checks from the donors of this fundraiser. Within the documents were special stocks of paper that were specially made to duplicate signatures. While the donors thought they were signing a check for the non-profit, they were actually signing another copy for the criminals. Through this method, the three were able to generate copious amounts of money to wire to all of the people involved in this scheme. And to think, it had been going on for years.

Shirou was making his way towards the station to inform the chief about the suspects. They were on the run now: planning their escape. But, Shirou had their coordinates already mapped in his mind and was sure that the police would handle the rest once he gave them the location of their whereabouts.  
  
A little while later, a little black bird landed on his right shoulder, letting out a small _‘caw’_. Shirou didn’t have to look to know who it was. Kuro’s talons slightly dug into the fabric of Shirou’s trenchcoat as he made himself comfortable on his shoulder. As if the two shared an intimate conversation, Shirou’s ears twitched after receiving the new information from the crow.

_It can’t be._

As a precaution, he deeply inhaled.

  
There it was again.

 _That_ _scent_.

And just after was one that was very familiar to Shirou.

He knew he couldn’t afford to be distracted again, but it unnerved him how close in proximity the two were.

\--

He found himself by the hospital again, staring at the revolving doors that endlessly turned as new patients came in and out of the building. Alan. _____. Alan. _____. Alan. _____. The smell permeated his nostrils, sending him in a cold sweat.

Time stood still as Shirou ran through the possibilities of why Alan would be in the hospital. For work? It couldn’t just be for that. No, it wasn’t everyday Alan ventured into the other hospitals in his network.

\--

_“There will be no more hate crimes against the beastkin because there wouldn’t be any of them left. There would only be one race: the human race, which will leave us immortals to rule the world from the shadows as we’ve continued to do so …“_

_“Eradicating an entire race doesn’t solve anything.”_

_“It was what made you a legend though: did you ever think about that? Don’t you absolutely love the festival they host for you every single year? I’m a bit jealous… it’s not like there’s exactly a ‘Sylvasta’ festival.”_

_“I never fucking asked to be immortal.”_

_“And what have you done in the years since the cure for Nirvasyl syndrome was created? Solved more useless cases caused by the beastkin here?”_

_“…”_

  
Alan slowly walked around his desk and faced Shirou with a smirk, _“Just look what happened to your dear, sweet, _____.”_

Shirou clenched his right fist.

_“_____ has nothing to do with this conversation,”_

_“No… but, I can’t help but wonder how safe and sound _____ would feel if [ppr] was back at home.”_

_“_____ made the choice to come here.”_

_“An idiotic one too. See what happens when you just let beastkin freely roam around?”_

Shirou narrowed his eyes, _“The fact he was a beastkin had nothing to do with the crime.”_

_“Au contraire. Just think… what would happen if this was leaked on the news: that a human was attacked on [ppr] first day in Anima City? By some random beastkin, who turned into a blood hungry monster, upon smelling [ppr]. Quite the welcome party isn’t it?”_

_“…”_

_“Thought so. So I ask, why do you continue to care about such meaningless life forms such as your little human pet here? You could live your endless life in solitude, with power.”_

_“I protect all beastkin and if that means tolerating humans, I will do it.”_

_“Tolerating, is a funny term. I wouldn’t call frequent visits to _____, ‘tolerating’, Shirou,”_ Alan teased.

He had a way with twisting other people’s words.

_“Again, what I do with [ppr] is none of your business.”_

_“So defensive, aren’t we?”_ Alan pretended to gasp, _“Fine. I see how it is. You’re a naughty little wolf. Wouldn’t you like to see [ppr] in other ways beyond your regular visits?”_

Shirou definitely wasn’t going to entertain this one. He glared at Alan until the other broke the silence,  
  
_“How about this… I could help you. I even have security footage of [ppr]… in the bathroom.”_

_“Shut up.”_

Alan snickered, _“Relax, I was ooonly joking... to some degree. If you really wanted it—“_

_“Do not.”_

_“But I suppose, there is a price to pay. And one day, you’re going to come crawling back to me, begging me to help you when—”_

_“Like I would.”_

_“Oh you will… _____ doesn’t know about your little secret, does [ppr]?”_

_“It doesn’t concern [ppr].”_

_“Oh but wouldn’t it come a decade, or two? Tsk tsk, you should really be more honest, or I will do it for you. And who knows, maybe I’ll even see what the hype is about with your little plaything.”_

_“_____ is not my plaything.”_  
  
Alan’s eyes twinkled with delight, _“Okay then, I guess [ppr] will be mine then. If you’re only visiting _____ out of good faith, then you wouldn’t mind if I had a little sample, right?”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“Sounds like someone is getting jealous!”_

Shirou began to turn around to walk towards the elevators. He didn’t want to be a part of this conversation anymore. There were much better things to do anyways. Why did he even go up here to listen to this idiot spew nonsense?

_“You should stop being so careless, Shirou— I might actually snatch that little human from you!”_

_“Fuck off.”_

\--

Something screamed for him to go forward.

He was definitely sure of it this time: he could smell both Alan and _____. His heart drummed with fear. Shirou was afraid of what Alan would do to _____. He wasn’t sure of what _‘little sample’_ specifically entailed, but it certainly wasn’t a good term in Alan’s lexicon. The blonde had access to some of the world’s most cutting-edge equipment and Shirou could only imagine the torture that he would put [ppr] through. And for what: for petty vengeance?

If he ignored the two, he would be complicit if something happened to _____. Shirou felt some sort of moral responsibility as he was the one who had been making trips to see [ppr]. He didn’t know that one of the unintended consequences of visitations would be attracting Alan from his grave.

Had he, then…

Reluctantly, Shirou paused the investigation to check out the hospital. The chief will just have to hear about the suspects later. This wasn’t a normal occurrence for him—he knew that.

There was a protocol to follow and he was breaking it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, long time no see :), it's been a while, and I don't even want to know hooow long it's been. Don't tell me hahah 
> 
> I've been so busy in the real world that ack it's been hard to get the time to edit some of these things. ^^;;
> 
> I started writing what would have been this chapter but then... you know... what was Shirou doing that took him sooo long to save the reader in the last chapter? And I just fell into a rabbit hole of writing a pseudo mystery chapter. Guess you'll just have to wait till the next one to fiiiiind out :PPPPPP
> 
> \--
> 
> I think school is starting again pretty much everywhere. I am naturally introverted and find it extremely hard to speak online to my peers because of that social anxiety stuff. So for those of you in school, good luck with your online classes, and if you're doing in person classes, good luck as well! 
> 
> That being said, take some time to breathe this week! Find a breathing exercise, follow along with it and do some self reflection. Think about how far you've come, and how you've got a dream. And if you don't have a dream, think of Shirou :) Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	15. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up buckaroo's <:)
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

Shirou’s throat tightened with distaste as he tried to make sense of what just happened.

_‘You wouldn’t mind if I had a little sample, right?’_

Was this what the fucking bastard meant?

Because that _‘little sample’_ turned out to be a large fucking heapful.

Had he known that his visitations would result in this, he would have forgone it all. He would have left it at dropping the human off at the hospital. But he tried, tried so hard to sympathize and connect for the beastkin. To rid himself of his biases against the humans. To understand why someone would want to live here despite being attacked by a beastkin on the first day. But the past was the past, and all he could do now was take care of the mess that Alan created.

He further leaned in so that his snout was flush against the other’s neck.

“S-Shirou? Please answer me,” [ppr] whispered. _____ tried shifting around but was unable to free [ppr-self] from his hold. In turn, Shirou’s grip loosened ever so slightly to ease the other’s nerves.

“… Sorry.”

_____ huffed and bit [ppr] lip, “It’s… okay… just, are you good?”

He needed to understand _why_ Alan did all of this to [ppr].

He deeply inhaled.

The traces of black cedarwood and juniper cologne still lingered along [ppr] neck. For one, neither one was grown here. And even if they were, it wouldn’t change the fact that Alan took advantage of _____.

There was also the faint smell of sweat that followed after the cologne. It definitely wasn’t Alan’s: that was for sure. It smelled… too human. _____’s. What else could have caused it other than the fear of being consumed alive— again?

Shirou gritted his teeth as more of the past events flickered through his mind.

The mockery. The biting. The humiliation. The _marking_.

He felt utterly useless as the scene unfolded in front of him. How did Alan manage to do all of _this_ to the other while he was so close by? How did he get so wrapped up with his investigation that he took no notice of _____ when [ppr] was ambushed by the other? Wait— the messages.

_‘Guess what I found.’_

Fuck. He should have _responded_ back to the messages. But how would he have known that the blonde was all the way up here from just that? Was he even there at the time?

Shirou furrowed his brows, recalling the other message in the pair. _‘Do you like smelling plants.’_ Of course, the idiot would have sent him a message about the plants while exploring the rooftop. There were rules enforced by the nurses here: humans were _terrible_ at listening to instructions. Maybe, had [ppr] stayed in [ppr] ward then…

No. It wouldn’t have mattered.

There was no denying it: Alan was fully aware of the human before all of this. And maybe by extension, he knew the specific room number in which [ppr] resided in. Whether _____ was there or here, Alan would have been able to find [ppr] with his extensive security network.

“Unbelievable,” he muttered.

“… Come on… let’s, let’s go back to my room, Shirou,” _____ reached over and patted his back with [ppr] right hand.

Shirou was extremely frustrated. What if he stopped the blonde in time? Then he wouldn’t have been faced with the horrific sight of the bruises on _____’s neck. More importantly, there was something putrid about the way that Alan’s cologne coated various parts of the human’s body.

_____ wasn’t a tree. _____ was a fucking human being.

The scent almost overwhelmed Shirou as his nose prickled with pain from the strong botanical notes. This shouldn’t be on _____’s body. He shouldn’t be smelling this. He should be smelling the hospital’s aloe wash, the synthetic smell of a new gown, or the crumbs leftover from lunch—just anything that wasn’t _this_.

What kind of games was Alan playing? Why was he messing with _____ of all people in this city? Was this merely a distraction? Was he going to run another experiment to eradicate the beastkin race? Shirou couldn’t put a finger on his exterior motives.

However, there was nothing more that Shirou wanted to do right now than to erase the traces of Alan. Nothing more he’d like to do than to wipe that smirk off and make it abundantly clear that Alan was to stay away from _____. Nothing more. On that matter, Alan also needed to stay far away from the other beastkin and humans here. He needed to stick to what he did best: lying in his grave. After then, the city would be able to flourish without his schemes.

Shirou could beat the other up to a pulp, but that still wouldn’t be enough to prove his point. The fact that Alan was an immortal also complicated the situation. He could always come back. Shirou would hate to admit it but… one lone human versus a thousands-year-old entity was already a lost battle. All Shirou could do was think of how to get rid of Alan’s scent.

If he could just wipe it off or, maybe… just maybe… Shirou closed his eyes as he tried to concentrate. He felt ill— conflicted even, about his feelings as he inhaled once more against the crook of the human’s neck.

“Ah come on not you to-oh-oo, what the hell Shirou?”

He hated Alan for leaving _____ like this. He wanted to drive his face so far into the earth that it met the earth’s mantle. Yet, it hurt Shirou to know that this was Alan’s doing. Had it been anyone else, with _____’s consent, then… The traces of the past rose to the surface, mocking him as he stood there and watched Alan’s smug face. No. There would and will not be an ‘ _anyone else_ ’. He would still be equally pissed if it was anyone else. What business would anyone have with this particular person? A low grumble came from his throat, startling the other.

“S-Shirou! Snap out of it.”

He angled his head ever so slightly to the left and opened his mouth. He could sense every little splotch of red and purple that spanned across the other’s neck. There _will_ be no more of Alan’s markings. Shirou _will_ make sure of that. It was _he,_ who was visiting the human. _____. It was _he,_ who [ppr] talked to. It was _him._ It was _Shirou._ So, how did Alan fit in the picture? Answer: he fucking _didn’t_.

Each ragged breath he took was laced with rage— and even the slightest bit of...

Shirou preferred it much more when there wasn’t the smell of another being on _____. He dragged his mouth along the gentle slope of [ppr] neck as his canines brushed against the soft flesh as. He wrapped one arm around the other’s back and leaned further in.

“Uhhh, Shirou??”  
  
_____ grasped at Shirou’s trench coat and pushed against him, “Shirou… Y-you’re making me uncomfortable.”

He rubbed his nose against _____’s neck: shortly afterwards, the once warm skin became speckled with goosebumps.

“U-uh, if you’re messing around with me, I already got the memo earlier.”

_‘There will be no more hate crimes against the beastkin because there wouldn’t be any of them left.’_

He was lost in his own trance. Fuck Alan. If his intention was to get Shirou to abandon his side quest to understand humanity, then it did the complete opposite.

“Shirou, please.”

 _‘And who knows, maybe I’ll even see what the hype is about with your little plaything._ ’

Alan’s words sent a chill down his spine. It was disgusting how he talked about _____ like that. To be a beastkin was one matter, to be human is another. To be _____... [Ppr] was certainly more than a plate of charcuterie to Shirou. _____ was a complex human: one with rational thoughts— and sometimes irrational ones. Even if _____ was unreasonable, Shirou was still intruiged by the fact that nothing seemed to stop [ppr]. Nothing made sense about [ppr]… and that was okay. He enjoyed that.

“Come on, ha ha ha, seriously.”

But, Shirou will show Alan. He will first make sure that the fucking bastard knew his place. That he deserved no part in this world. That _____ was not someone he was allowed to talk with or _touch_. His breath fanned over [ppr] neck. He lapped at the hickey, tasting the remnants of Alan and soon after, that of _____’s.

“Holy s-shit— ah, can we go b-back down. I… need to sh-oh-ower,” _____ leaned [ppr] head back, reddening as time went on. He could feel [ppr] heart racing, especially when he was at the sides of [ppr] neck.

It was disgusting. Every time he sensed the hickey on the other’s neck, Shirou’s heart filled with repulse. One could even say that it was jealousy drove him to lick, to clean, all that was left of Alan. It almost felt gratifying when he spat everything out to the side.

The other whimpered and begged him once more to snap out of it.

He looked at the _____’s neck: getting rid of the smell still wasn’t enough. There was rage that boiled itself to the surface. Those marks… they shouldn’t… They should’ve been… _his_. Was that right? He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, anything to break his silence. But he couldn’t. Instead, all he could do was tremble as he held onto the other.

“Come on, w-why.”

Did Shirou care about this human more than he originally thought?

The sound of a soft sniffle alerted him. Shirou shook his head, wrangling him free from his primal thoughts. He blinked.

Did he do this? He had seen the human cry so many times, but not like this. Is this what it feels like to be the one to causing all of the pain? He leaned down to look at the other, transforming back into his human form.

“Hey…”

A few tears streamed down [ppr] face. _____ wiped [ppr] eyes with [ppr] hands. [Ppr] mouth parted,

“H-uh? Sorry, it’s been a long day.”

“No… I’m the one who should be sorry… I…”

He looked at [ppr].

A few of pieces of _____’s hair poked out. Flecks of potting soil were scattered across [ppr] cheeks as well as on [ppr] hospital gown. And even drops of sweat clung onto [ppr] forehead, unwilling to evaporate under the sun. _____ was a mess, but Shirou didn’t care. All that mattered was that [ppr] was safe that Alan was out of the way.

He had to get _____ away from this environment.

“I’m going to get you out of here.”

“W-what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you thouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuught. Nope, not going to happen yet ;) It'll happen. Good things come to those who wait hehehe :)
> 
> \--
> 
> I'm gonna keep it simple this week.
> 
> I think there's a lot of people who need to be thanked who are not appreciated enough. If someone does something nice for you, remember to say thank you to them! Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	16. Runaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hey, hi, Im back!
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

You rubbed your eyes to wipe the remaining tears off. Meanwhile, Shirou was regaining his composure from earlier.

“Out… of here…?”

You weren’t emotionally prepared for any more surprises. After all, you were just given a hickey— or six, by some perverted businessman named Alan. On top of that, Shirou recently had his own fit as well. What was all of that anyways? If you had the energy, you would’ve pressed further but you figured it would be a future conversation to have. Everything right now was just… a little too much to deal with. It was like being in a terribly written fanfiction where the protagonist kept getting bombarded with all of the side plots. Side plot A. Side plot B. Slide plot Z. And, oh if only, if only you didn’t explore the places that were restricted to patients, then none of this would have happened.

Your only desire right now was to take a nice long nap. Then maybe you could have a warm cup of tea after waking up. You held one hand over your chest and the other over your neck in an attempt to calm yourself down. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. That’s right, a little more and you’ll be okay in no time.

“… Yeah, out, that... it sounds nice.”

Shirou extended an arm towards you. “Come on, let’s go.”

Instinctually, you reached out to take his hand before another thought crossed your mind,

“—But, but wait!”

“What now?”

Before you left, you had to make sure the blonde wasn’t still around. You haphazardly walked towards the bushes, then around a couple of trees, then to the vegetables. Your eyes darted left and right, making sure that you didn’t miss a single spot.

Noticing your erratic movements, Shirou cleared his throat, “I can assure you that he’s gone now.”

Even though Shirou’s words brought some sense of comfort, you couldn’t help but still feel on edge.

“How do you know that?”

“I can’t smell him.”

“Ah.”

Smelling. He had a penchant to do that when it came to investigations: or at least that’s what he says. One of the perks of being a beastkin you supposed. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Shirou, but you were very doubtful of Alan’s disappearance. He could have easily returned with malicious intent. So you had to make sure that he was, at the least, not up here.

It also seemed like the two had unsettled businesses with each other. While you didn’t want to be in the way, you also didn’t want to see Shirou get into some messy fight with Mr. A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E. Who was he? Was Shirou really okay with just letting the blonde go?

Shirou observed you as you continued to rustle some bushes and call out Alan’s name. Another one of your antics. When you came across a rose bush, you pricked your finger against one of the thorns as you pulled some flowers out of the way.

“Ack!”

“Idiot.”

Holding your index finger to your face, you countered him back, “You can never be too safe, Shirou.”

“Told you he’s gone.”

“Ugh, just give me a few more minutes!”

\--

Taking a break from the searching, you sat down on a nearby bench and chewed on the inside of your mouth. If he wasn’t here, where was he?

Furthermore, why wasn’t Shirou concerned about this? If giving… these things was how Alan treated his patients, he should be taken into the authorities. Didn’t he take Courtesy 101? A hospital was a place to be healed, not to be harassed by some random stranger.

“… We should… report him.”

“Impossible.”

“He’s malicious! He just assaulted me. You have beef with him. Shirou, we have to report him.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Shirou,” you pointed to your neck, “This just happened. We can so report him.”

“And then what happens when they find my DNA as well?”

“… Well shoot, I… I’ll just explain. You were sniffing, and doing… your wolf thing! An investigation?”

Trying to explain what exactly had happened would prove itself difficult to the cops. A patient who walked off to the hospital’s forbidden rooftop and claimed some big shot guy was harassing [ppr]. It sounded good in your head but the more you repeated it, the more suspicious it sounded. It also didn’t help that Shirou was also involved with the police force as their vigilante investigator.

“You can corroborate my story. They have to believe me!”

“I’m telling you. It’s useless.”

“But—"

“Forget it. Let’s just go.”

You puffed your cheeks in annoyance.

Man he was really stubborn.

“Fine. I also need to grab my crutches.”

You got up from your seat with assistance from the arm rests on the bench. He gave you a glance before looking around to find the crutches that you dropped during your encounter with Alan. You made your way towards the area you thought you had them last, but Shirou soon found them laying in a corner by the tomatoes.

He walked over to you and gave you one of them to prop yourself on. After taking one of them, you paused.

You didn’t really need these anymore, did you? You knew you could walk: even if it was a bit wobbly. When you were first allowed to use your own feet again, the crutches became burdensome as the days went on. They were just there for balance, really.

“Hey… are you okay?”

Your eyes widened as you were pulled from your thoughts. “… Oh! Yeah, sorry.”

You took the other crutch from Shirou.

Yeah did you really need these? Maybe you’ll ask nurse Tsutsumi later to be adjourned from the bulky things. After situating yourself, you murmured a small ‘thank you’ to Shirou.

The two of you shortly made your way towards the rooftop exit.

\--

Time seemed to slow down as the elevator passed from one floor to the next. The dreary fluorescent lighting and the pale mint floor illuminated the bags underneath your eyes: not a good look, but you had much bigger problems to worry about. The mechanical whirring of the gears and wires filled what would have been silence between you two. You wondered what was going through Shirou’s mind.

You looked at him from the corners of your eyes.

He was looking off to the side and, as usual, had his arms crossed. When he had his moments, it was hard to tell if he was agitated by you or not. You didn’t want to test his patience right now. Too tired. Meanwhile, your mind was still buzzed from all of the events that had occurred today. The garden. The smells. The plants. Alan. The bite. Your ear. Your neck. Shirou. Your face heated up as you remembered what he did.

‘Would you rather have our dear boy Shirou do that to you?’

Would you?

Would you like it if he had pinned you to the tree and done the same thing? If he pulled you into a kiss and held you by your waist. Or if he held you by your cheek as the two of you were in bed? You weren’t going to lie to yourself, the man was…

You shook your head from your thoughts. Nope. Naughty thoughts were for another day!

First, the inevitable had to happen. You knew you needed to walk back to your ward. Eventually, the nurses will notice your neck while they’re taking measurements/ performing their daily checkups. How were you even going to explain yourself then? Do you tell them truth: that some big hot shot businessman assaulted you on the roof? Or do you lie, and tell them that someone nailed their knuckles into your throat?

As if you could rough it up with the other hospital patients. You stifled a laugh as you thought about how ridiculous that would look. Breaking news, some human was fucking it up in the hospital with [ppr] crutches. Smashes someone in the face.

Now you’ve caught Shirou's attention. He gave you a look that prompted you to meekly apologize. Random thoughts and all. You bit your lip as you looked at the different numbers light up near the top of the doors.

“… Who… was he, Shirou? I mean… to you?”

Forty-two.

Forty-one.

Forty.

Thirty-nine.

“… An old, enemy.”

You raised a brow, “That was a bit overdramatic?”

Thirty-eight.

Thirty-seven.

He was quite precarious when it came to semantics, but come on, “You’re not that old, Shirou. What did he do to you?”

Thirty-six.

“That’s for a future conversation.”

Thirty-five.

Thirty-four.

You flattened your lips. Maybe you’ve gone too far with that one. You continued to look at the numbers.

Thirty-three.

Thirty-two.

You were waiting for it to stop but it never did. Had to be a mistake right? Maybe you were taking a weird detour? Shirou seemed unfazed by everything as you continued to descend into the depths of the hospital.

But now you were somehow at twenty-five.

Twenty-four.

Twenty-three.

You were terrible at math, but the numbers didn’t lie. You were going way past your floor number. A bit panicked, you looked at the large pad that spanned across the right panel adjacent to the doors. You moved to press the button to your actual floor, only to be blocked by Shirou’s swift hand.

“Shirou.”

You sighed, reaching over his hand to press the button again. And again, you were blocked. This time, he held your wrist: his grip was gentle, but also firm enough to deter you from trying to move again.

“I never mentioned anything about going back to your room.”

You furrowed your brows. You weren’t going back to your ward?

“Uh, I haven’t been discharged yet…?”

“You will be today.”

“Uhhhh…?”

“You’re leaving.”

“You mean, you weren’t talking about leaving from the rooftop?”

You looked down at your wrist. You weren’t going back to your room? Did that sound real? Wait, you should tell someone. First. So, out of the hospital? Wait, is that what he meant? Were you going to get your residency status and paperwork done today? Crap.

Your thoughts were becoming increasingly jumbled as you tried to decipher his cryptic statement.

“So, I get to leave?”

“You’ve been talking about it for a while.”

“I know I have, but…”

“But?”

“I feel like… I do want to. I talk about it so much like how many things I’m going to do when I leave, but my time here feels unresolved.”

“You can walk and eat on your own.”

“I… can…”

You eyed your crutches. You didn’t need them. And you can eat solid foods with a fork and knife now too. Leaving wouldn’t be a bad idea. But wasn’t this so sudden?

“This place is dangerous.”

“You only say that because of whatever Alan did… I’m sure, if we report him it won’t happen again.”

“You don’t know him.”

“Okay, but I do know that the staff here can help me.”

“And who provides their paycheck?”

“I mean…” You pursed your lips, “But, it’s also their job to take care of the patients here. Which, I am.”

“They’ll also follow his orders on a whim even if it’s against the patient’s interests.”

“But… I, I think I can manage by myself.”

He shot you a glare.

“Can you?”

“I…” He might’ve been referring to the rooftop incident, but it wouldn’t surprise you if he thought you were completely incapable of handling yourself after witnessing you drop your food several times or seeing you underperform in your physical training. But you’d like to think that it was just his motherly intuition kicking in, and that he fretted too much.

Seventeen.

Sixteen.

Fifteen.

“Do you have anything here that is worth staying behind for?”

“My—"

You bit your tongue as you realized that you had not recovered any of your personal belongings. All of your junk, slivers of what was once home: gone. Everything that you currently owned has been brought to you by Shirou or by the hospital. You had nothing to your name. Nothing but a phone to show.

Was there really a reason to continue staying here?

\--

Like a parent with their child, Shirou urgently dragged you through the hallway by your arm. Your feet danced along the slippery vinyl floors in an attempt to keep up with his pace. Maybe it was because he was taller and took longer strides, but Shirou had no sympathy for your slower movements.

“Jeez, you walk really fast, Shirou.”

“The sooner you’re out of here, the better.”

You looked at the back of his head: a few of his white locks bounced with each step he took.

“I know, but, I’m,” you huffed, “this feels really different being rushed and all.”

By the end of the elevator ride, you were convinced that you didn’t need your crutches anymore and that you were ready to leave the nest. So, what logical action did you take? You left them propped against the elevator’s rails. You thought of it as a symbolic gesture to represent your big milestone of leaving the hospital. In the end, you trusted Shirou. If he really thought that this wasn’t the place for you then… hey, you weren’t going to complain.

A change of scenery would be nice.

The two of you walked past several doctors transporting a patient to the ICU. The person was hooked up to several monitors and a bag of saline solution. You couldn’t help but shudder. It was almost strange how you’ve stayed here long enough to be acclimated to these kinds of sights.

The hallways were long and winding. You were like two explorers trying escape from this labyrinth of a hellhole. The afternoon’s events flashed through your mind again. Little did you know, they would continue to plague you for the rest of the day. Rest assured, Shirou and you soon spotted the receptionist’s desk by the front.

You were finally going to leave this place.

You were excited and scared at the prospect of going to your new apartment. Mostly excited though because the idea of sleeping on a nice and warm bed sounded delightful. And had you not been bit, you would have already been situated in it two months ago.

When you two finally arrived by the oak desk, the receptionist was staring at the blank screen on the monitor. She was moving the mouse around to click on different folders throughout the desktop. It was probably some mindless work that one would do towards the end of their shift.

Shirou took no time in raising his voice.

“This patient is being discharged today.”

She briefly paused before glancing at your disheveled form. You looked like utter hell. She pulled open a new dialogue on the desktop and furthermore, took one hard-long look at you. You already knew what she was looking at. There was no hiding the hickies from the angle you were at. Shamefully, you covered your neck with a hand. Based off of her facial expression, it seemed like this brought up more questions than concerns.

“First name?”

Maybe it was best she didn’t press into it. It would have been really awkward trying to explain to her how you exactly ended up like this.

“_____.”

“Spelling please.”

The nurse typed into the form as you pronounced each one of the letters in your first name.

“Last?”

“Ah, yes that’s—”

You pronounced each one of the letters in your last name.

Additionally, she asked for other details: such as your date of birth, the doctor assigned to you, and your purpose for leaving. You were able to provide some of what she wanted, but you couldn’t explain why you exactly wanted to leave.

“_____ is leaving due to a full recovery from all of [ppr] injuries.”

You nodded along and silently thanked him when the nurse was looking elsewhere. She hummed, typing out a few comments into the last field. She then pressed the enter key and waited for the screen to load the next set of information. After a few seconds, the receptionist scanned the page and shook her head.

“I’m sorry [ph], we can’t discharge you today.”

Her words fell on death ears.

Shirou raised his brow, “Yes you can.”

“_____ needs the permission of [ppr] doctor before [ppr] leaves,” the receptionist elaborated.

“[Ppr] can walk on [ppr] own. There is no need for that.”

“I’m sorry, but the standard is that we wait for the doctor’s approval before letting anyone out.”

“So get the doctor over here.”

“Sir, [ppr] doctor is currently busy with other patients.”

“Get [ppr] doctor down.”

“I can’t. The earliest time [ppr] doctor can visit would be the next day. But even then, we don’t know if that guarantees [ppr] discharge.”

You looked at Shirou, wondering what he would do. Truth be told, you were kind of sad to learn that you’ve made it this far to only go back. Luckily for you, Shirou wasn’t going to accept her answer.

“This is ridiculous.”

“I didn’t make the rules, sir. And besides, look at [ppr]: our nurses and doctors will be able to facilitate [ppr] back to normal.”

“You don’t get to decide what’s normal.”

The receptionist sighed; this might have been the first conversation of its kind to land on her desk today. It was a battle of will versus rules. The person who decides will determine your fate.

“Mr…”

“Ogami.”

“Mr. Ogami,” the nurse repeated, “if you leave [ppr] here, we can take good care of [ppr].”

“The reason [ppr] looks like this is because [ppr] was left in your care.”

You looked off to the side as the waves of embarrassment crashed against you. That was the last of the patience that Shirou had to spare before he took your hand and walked towards the hospital’s exit. You stammered as you were suddenly dragged again.

“Ah! Shirou, hold up!” You skidded across the floor and attempted to regain your balance.

Startled, the nurse shouted, “But, sir, you can’t do that! [Ppr] needs to have [ppr] paperwork done and approved!”

Never stopping once in his tracks, Shirou scoffed,

“I am [ppr] caretaker, there will be no need for that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16, aka sometimes Shirou acts like a Karen but its ok bc he cares for you and you're just like the kid waiting for their mom to come back to the line in the supermarket with no money lmao
> 
> This week, take the time to talk a walk around your neighborhood, park, or wherever it is you find peace in. I'm not sure where you guys are based in but over where I am, it's finally beginning to cool down, which I love. The air just hits differently this time of the year. Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	17. The Beastkin Co-op

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) 
> 
> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

You trailed behind Shirou, unsure of where you were going.

It has been forty-five minutes since the altercation between him and the receptionist. At first, she tried to prevent you from leaving the vicinity. She took your hand: which prompted Shirou transform into his wolf form. Snarling at the poor lady, Shirou threw out some choice words about the hospital and its ability to care for incoming patients. You could only watch in embarrassment as he listed how many violations the conglomerate has committed in the past few years. Some of which, included leaking out patient data to third party vendors for marketing purposes, producing false numbers in their annual reports, and electing more controversial members to head the hospital’s operations.

_‘So if you know what’s good, take _____ out of the system. I told you already, I am [ppr] caretaker.’_

_‘Sir… [Ppr] really needs at least, another day in the hospital. I-I told you that [ppr] can’t leave without the doctor’s sign off!’_

_‘Don’t—’_

_‘[Ppr] is unfit—’_

_‘Fucking test me.’_

You saw the color drain from her face as he glared at her. You shuddered; you couldn’t imagine being at the receiving end of his wrath. But it was only then did she step back into the hospital. As a private investigator, Shirou _sure_ knew how to dish out the facts.

“You know… you didn’t have to do all of that, Shirou.”  
  
“She was in the way.”

“I know… but, the poor lady…”  
  
“Got what she deserved.”

You passed by a few more stores along the street, taking in your surroundings during your newfound freedom. There was a bookshop display that featured a tree made out of maps and guides. ‘ _Travel around the world_ ’, the sign above read. Strung along the tree was a garland of flamingo pink, yellow, and blue pom poms. In between them were crude cut outs of vintage commercial airplanes and companies. Pan-Am airlines: you remembered briefly learning about them in school. Overall, you really liked how eclectic it all looked.

You figured that there was a method to the madness of décor that adorned the setup; perhaps, you’ll visit the place one day to find out more.

There were other shops that you two passed by: a stationary store, a delicatessen, and an artisanal soap shop. You tried to take a mental note of every place that caught your attention in lieu of snapping pictures with your dead phone. You even wanted to ask Shirou to stop so you could take a better look at the store displays, but you also knew better. You were _beyond_ exhausted. The sooner you can get to your apartment and bed, the better.

But the feeling of awkwardness and unease lingered in the air. You were essentially following a stranger who was leading to you to… who knew where. You were going somewhere, away from the hospital. You were going to end up somewhere, away from the hospital. Maybe, the logical choice for you to take would be to break out the long-awaited question.

“Uhm… so… city hall right?”

  
“No.”

You weren’t really sure where to proceed with the conversation. No? So if you weren’t going to city hall, then where were you going…? You looked towards the floor, where your eyes rested on the backs of his heels.

  
“… Don’t… I need to go there? Wasn’t, that where we were going…?”

“We will go tomorrow morning.”  
  
“Ah.”

You fumbled with your fingers as you continued to walk behind him. You didn’t want to set him off, not after _her_. You saw what he did when the receptionist followed the two of you. You were also one of the lucky recipients of the sounds that followed when Shirou went ballistic on the receptionist. You swore you could still feel your ears ringing.

But, where… How much further. And how much longer.

The sun was still unforgivingly hot, and you could feel the steaming cement beneath your socks. Some passerbys gave you some funny looks; you ignored them as you quickened your pace.  
  
“So… where, will I stay? If not the hospital?”

“The former Beastkin Co-op.”

“Ah… the co-op.” Once again, you were dumbfounded by his response.  
  
A co-op?

“Where’s that?”  
  
“In Anima City.”  
  
“Hey! You know what I meant!”

  
You puffed your cheeks.

  
“It’s where I live.”  
  
“Oh—”

Your heart skipped a beat as the implications of that statement riddled you with fear and excitement. Shirou and you have hung out plenty of times before in your ward. In those instances, everything felt normal: as normal as a random acquaintance who was visiting a patient can be.

You’ve seen each other eat and he’s caught you drifting off occasionally. What was going to be different this time around?

“… So… So, I’m going to stay with you?”

You almost choked on your words as you struggled to form a sentence.

  
“Did I stutter?”

With a beet red face, you shut your eyes, “Did you try to mock me again, Shirou?”  
  
Why were you getting nervous? It was just going to be for a night. One night, and the next day, you will visit city hall to collect your paperwork.

“It’s spacious.”

The mood lightened up as the conversation morphed into one centered around the size of the co-op.

“Spacious huh?”

Butterflies threatened to burst from your stomach. Oh god, what if you thrashed and hit him while you were asleep. You were going to be so embarrassed the next day. As you sifted through the multiple scenarios that could potentially happen, you completely forgot Shirou

“There are multiple rooms. You will get your own.”

  
“ _Oh_.”

And you _definitely_ weren’t thinking of sharing the same bed and room as Shirou.

\--

You continued to follow Shirou in his footsteps until you bumped into his back.  
  
“Crap— ah, sorry.”

You took a step back to correct your position and rubbed your nose to ease the radiating pain.

“We’re here.”

“What?”

You were confused at first. You looked around, trying to understand where exactly was _here_. The street didn’t look too out of the ordinary. There was a mixture of both renovated and historic buildings that aligned the block. Due to the varying degrees of building stories, the sun’s rays were able to poke through in many places: the whole street looked like it was made of gold. Just past Shirou was a set of two large walnut doors with baroque style carvings. And beyond that was… well, what would be your temporary stay for the night.

So this is where he lived?

“The former owners passed allowed me to retain the original building.”

  
“That’s really nice.” You walked to his side and continued to stare at the large doors, “what did the Beastkin Co-op do?”  
  
“Facilitate new beastkin into Anima City.”

“Ah, like a residency program?”  
  
“Yes.”

“Like… similar to the ones for humans today?”  
  
“Yes. In its place, are expanded programs designed to help the beastkin out… and now humans.”  
  
His tone wavered ever so slightly in the last bit of that sentence. You tried to read his face, which was once again expressionless. You wanted to pry him for more information, but that was probably also for another day. Shirou was one tough nut to crack.

“So, you just get this whole place to yourself, Shirou?”

Almost as if he read your mind, a small black bird swooped in and perched himself on Shirou’s shoulder. Startled, you lurched back to get a better look at the creature. He was quite round. He also seemed to have taken a liking to Shirou as well.

“Kuro lives with me too.”

The crow cawed and nuzzled its face into Shirou’s neck. The snowy haired man stroked the bird’s head and revealed the faintest smile you had ever seen.  
  
“Aww—”

You couldn’t help but gleam at the two of them. You didn’t take Shirou for the affectionate type; it was nice to know that there was a softer side to him.  
  
“What are you staring at.”

“H-huh?”

You looked at him, dazed by the sudden question.  
  
“Nevermind.”

There was a pause.

You looked towards the rest of the building to get a better sense of how big the co-op really was.

“I… I just thought that you looked… I didn’t know you had a pet.”

  
Stupid.

“He tells me things.”

Standing at three stories tall, the Beastkin Co-op was laid with bricks and masonry that lasted the test of time. Towards the bottom were hues of terracotta and ecru that completed each other.

“… Oh…? Like what?”

As you looked higher up, you noticed that the second and third floors were laid with cream colored bricks that were similar to the ones used in the other older houses on the street. The Beastkin Co-op would have looked like any other ordinary house on the street if it wasn’t for the large sign that was plastered on top of the entrance. Furthermore, there were multiple windows that spanned across the building that reflected the warm hues from the sun. The building itself might’ve made King Midas jealous. You still couldn’t believe that this was his home.

“Like how much you like to talk in your sleep.”

  
“W-what! That’s the worst lie I ever heard!” you huffed.

“He says you also like to sleep-walk.”  
  
“I, do absolutely, not!”  
  
Kuro cawed and closed his eyes: you were a liar and terrible at it too. He and you both knew that.

“Ugh, how would you even know when I go to bed.”  
  
 _‘Caw.’_

“It doesn’t take too long to figure that one out once you stop responding on the phone.”

“I—”

After riling another reaction out of you, Shirou fumbled around in his pocket before pulling out a set of keys. He walked towards the door on the right. He pushed the key into the lock and twisted until an audible ‘click’ was heard. He pulled the door back, revealing the interior of the house. Burrowing your brows, you reluctantly followed Shirou into the darkness.

“You guys are terrible for teaming up on me.”  
  
“Whatever.”  
  
“Hey, stop being sassy with me,” you put your hands on your hips.

  
“I never said anything.”  
  
“But—”

  
“I only learned it from you.”  
  
“Hey!”  
  
He always knew how to get underneath your skin, and you thought that to some degree, he enjoyed it too.

“What did you tell me last time: that I was a bad influence and to listen to you more?”  
  
“Well… yeah. I guess you have a point…”  
  
“Then it’s settled: it’s your fault I’m acting like this.”  
  
“Whaaaaa— that’s not true!”

There was an unspoken game of wit between the two of you to see who could best the other. Most of the time, Shirou was the winner. But when you finally had the last word, oh…  
  
While you waited for Shirou to turn on the lights, you tried to make sense of the interior. From what you can tell, this was the foyer to the rest of the building and contained a small coat rack and some bench on the side. Once the lights were on, you saw a shoe rack right across from the bench and in the middle was a circular carpet with the Beastkin Co-op’s logo on it.

  
“Why are you standing there.”

  
“Huh?”

“I said, why are you standing there.”  
  
“O-oh… Becauase, I don’t, know where to go?”  
  
“Typical.”

“This is your house you know!”

He rolled his eyes. You knew you had a point.

“Fine, here’s the co-op’s layout—”

Shirou petted Kuro one more time before the bird flew off to an adjacent room.

“The bedrooms are in the second and third floors. And the bathrooms are in the middle of each floor. Just choose whichever one you like.” He idly pointed in a direction that you couldn’t quite make out.

  
“Uh… hey Shirou.”  
  
“What is it now?”  
  
You bit on your gums, “Pardon… but, I don’t… really, know where anything is at all. Could you show me the way…?”

He blinked. His mistake was assuming that you knew the entire layout of the place. Of course: why would you know any more than a random stranger on the street. When was the last time he had someone over? When was the last time someone was living at the co-op?

He paused before walking towards the stairwell in the next room.

“Follow me.”

\--

Shirou led you up the stairs and through the hallway on the third floor. He wasn’t lying about the co-op being spacious. Now you really regretted going all the way up to the hospital’s rooftop. Your footsteps and breaths echoed throughout the place with no carpet to muffle the sounds. You were back to panting and catching your breath while Shirou effortlessly climbed the stairs.

You wheezed, “Geez, how do you get around… this place.”

  
“It’s just a few stairs.”  
  
“I know…” you took a large gulp of air as you followed him, “it’s just a few for you.”

“Well I wasn’t stuck to a hospital bed for weeks.”

“That’s… that’s true.”

“You’ll get stronger.”

“… That was… unexpectedly nice.”

\--

You passed by many rooms until you were at the end of the hallway. He asked you if you had any preference for a particular room. _As if you knew what was in any of these rooms._ You told him that as long as there was a bed, you were content with whichever room you stayed in.

“I’m serious: which one.”

“Uhm…”

You looked at all of the doors along the hallway. They all looked the same: the only thing that would differentiate them from one another is the tiny slot for an index card with your name. So, you chose the room that was next to where he was standing for the sake of convenience.

“This one?”

Shirou opened the door to the right and flipped the light switch on. The lights flickered until they revealed a small space with a cot on the side, a metal bookshelf, and a desk that sat in front of the window.

You followed him into the room and eyed the duvet that was folded on top of the mattress. The cot practically begged you to join it: to finally close your eyes after the long day. Shirou turned around to look at you.

You parted your lips, “… Shirou, it’s… perfect.”  
  
You craved the sweet salvation that only sleep could give. You sat down on the edge of the bed and let out a sigh of relief. Shirou shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the doorframe,

“Do you need anything else.”

  
“No I don’t. Just…”

You smiled at Shirou, “Thank you for letting me stay.”

He examined your facial features before turning around, letting his back face you.

  
“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”  
  
He closed the door behind him. Once the sounds of his footsteps grew more distant, you took a deep breath to recollect yourself. You pulled off your soiled socks and threw them into one of the corners of the room. You wriggled your toes, freeing them of the sweat that collected throughout the day. You reached into the pocket of your hospital gown and pulled out your phone. You placed it on the side but not before catching the reflection of yourself on the black screen.  
  
You looked like shit.

You made a mental note for tomorrow morning to learn how to get rid of hickies. As you sank deeper into the cot, a yawn escaped your lips.

You had never felt so compelled to just knock out. You moved the duvet to the side and splayed yourself out on the cot.

The plants. Alan. The bite. Your ear.

Your neck.

Shirou.

Man, what a day.

Your mind slowly drifted off as you fell into a slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the hardest things to do is to admit when you're wrong. I learned that this week. It took a lot of my pride to say I'm sorry, but it felt good doing it! Isn't that strange? Sometimes we're not always capable of being cordial, but for that we must own up to our faults. 
> 
> I'm here to let you know it's okay to be wrong. It's the only way to learn and grow so, the next time you know you're wrong, be the bigger person and apologize :) It feels a lot more peaceful than bottling all of your feelings up. 
> 
> Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	18. Gown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun

…

No.

Not.

Not... like this.

Your eyelids were no match for the incoming light. You did the only thing you could think of in your dazed state: you flipped to the other side of your body, which it casted its comforting shadows onto your face. You lightly inhaled the musty air before letting out a dreamy sigh.  
  
Yes. This was _perfect_.

After relishing in the newfound darkness, you quickly drifted off to sleep again.  
  
\---

Rays of honey and auburn eagerly crept their way past the blinds and into the room that you slept in. Once again, you attempted to squeeze your eyes shut after getting irritated by the sun’s presence.

This was certainly different than the artificial lights the hospital used to wake you up.

The day’s beginnings tried to drag you out of your slumber as more disturbances cluttered the room’s atmosphere. Instead of monitors that beeped and clicked, there were birds by the windowsill that pecked and chirped. And if you felt like turning over to relieve yourself from the sweat that collected on a side of your body, the sound of the cot’s metal springs would jostle you awake.

The room was like a concert hall that featured a symphony of inconveniences.

You _didn’t_ want to wake up, but it was getting harder _not_ to.

You lazily threw a pillow in the birds’ direction, hoping that it would scare them off. However, your temporary solution was done in vain as the birds soon came back to sing and…

You slowly opened your eyes and looked towards the hardwood floor. There was no use tossing and turning anymore. Not even the duvet could help for you were already coated in a thin sheen of sweat. You would overheat before you were able to enjoy its noise-cancelling benefits. You squeezed your eyes shut again before opening them in shock.

Wait.

Hardwood floors.

You sprung up, clenching the cotton sheets. You looked at your surroundings and held your breath. You weren’t at home anymore. You looked towards the window, where the birds continued to chitter and hop around. Just past the steel white frames was a view of the neighborhood and the skyscrapers that loomed in the distance.

Well, wasn’t this a nice view compared to the one of concrete and glass?

You turned your head towards the center of the room. Along the moss colored walls was a small poster of the Beastkin Co-op. Then it dawned on you; you were here because Shirou took you here.

You were here because you left the hospital.

Actually, s _cratch that thought_ — how was the receptionist?! Hopefully, she was having a better day today. You couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty for what happened to her— after all, she looked pretty horrified after receiving a string of insults from Shirou. You certainly wouldn’t know what to do if you had to deal with a really angry wolf. And… you would send an apology card, but you had _no_ idea where the hospital was.

You rubbed your temples and further concentrated on your thoughts. Yesterday… you, were in the hospital’s rooftop. You were looking at plants. You remembered smelling the herbs: rosemary being one of your favorites.

As you continued to ponder, you idly stared at the stock photo of the beastkin who all were smiling and holding their hands together. According to the poster, one of the benefits of joining the Co-op was making all of the friends you could ever want. A little after looking, you discarded your thoughts of the poster in favor of recalling yesterday’s events.

Right… So you were smelling herbs then the door to the rooftop opened. You tried to hide. And then… A blonde man showed up.

Alan.

You silently gasped and reached down to touch your neck.

As your fingers brushed your neck, you shuddered in disgust.

Then there was _this_ to deal with.

You turned your body to the side of the bed and ran your hand through your hair. You had never done that sort of thing before. Goddammit, before your first kiss too? You were either the dumbest stud, or the unluckiest nerd ever.

Oh, if only your friends knew: they would get a kick out of your story. Some weird kinky man who approached you in the bright afternoon to indulge in his fantasies?

.

.

.

Hah!

You looked back at the wall and frowned.

Besides, you _definitely_ had other suitors in mind who you wanted to do that kind of stuff with.

How long did these things last again?

“Oh shit, yeah Boogle,” you murmured to yourself.

You reached behind with your right hand to grab your phone. After trying for what was a while, you finally had it in your clutches. You pressed the phone’s home button to discover that it was dead. You let out a groan as you realized your other mistake: you left your charger at the hospital.

You could settle for a preview of what’s to come when you finally looked in a real mirror. As you brought your phone closer to your face, your nose twitched. You sniffed the air and closed your eyes. The bed? You leaned towards the mattress before shaking your head. No.

_‘You smell truly disgusting.’_

You fumed as Alan’s words repeated in your head: he sure knew how to make a person feel self-conscious.

You sniffed yourself again before confirming that the smell was indeed from you. In your defense, you were smelling plants and sweating in the sun; what else was a patient supposed to do in such a large hospital?

You stood up from the bed and wobbled as you tried to adjust to gravity’s pull.

You really needed a shower.

\--

Your arms were stretched out in front of you as you let the droplets of water fall down onto your body. The coolness was nice to say the least. Your worn body leaned into the water, begging to be stripped of all of the sweat and tears that accumulated from yesterday’s ordeal.

Quite frankly, the difference between a shower at home and at a hospital was phenomenal. You didn’t feel so much like a specimen walking under a microscope as much as you did a member of the Beastkin Co-op.

… Was this what normal was? To settle into the abyss of comfort and to return to your routine the next day? If this was, you’d love to experience it _all the time_.

The water continued to fall. You took a deep breath and exhaled. You began to flex your fingers and arched your back, remembering the exercises that they taught you in physical therapy.

Soon enough, your thoughts and worries went down the drain.

\--

With nothing to dry yourself off with, you slowly tiptoed towards your discarded gown to put it back on again. The last drops of your shower seeped into the surrounding cracks between the tiles. Tiny puddles of water formed in your trail and disappeared as you got closer to where the benches were. You paused. You looked at the tattered gown, taking in how dirty it was compared to the fresh ones you put on every morning.

You bent down to pick the gown up before feeling a slight chill.

You looked up: the door that you shut has been opened.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” you murmured to yourself.

Nervously, you scanned the area. The hairs along your arms stood on end: you knew _he was here._ Maybe if you saw him before it was too late—

You were brought to a standstill when your eyes met those of Shirou’s.

“Oh.”

“Took you long enough.”

You owlishly stared at him before it finally registered in your mind that he had a full-on view of your naked form.

“Uh… when… when…?”

You squeezed your eyes shut.

Breaking your petrified spell, Shirou was the first to speak up,

“Thought you would want a towel—”

You let out a delayed cry,

“Ah! When did you get here? This is the second time you’ve done this—ack _what_ amIsaying. Wait, just, _what_ are you doing here?!”

With his gaze still on you, Shirou nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders. _As if_ that was a good enough of a response. You sputtered some incoherent nonsense before bringing one hand over your lower region and using the other to snatch the hospital gown.

“Relax.”

The single word elicited further feelings of nausea and tension.

How were you supposed to _relax_ when you were just ass _naked_ in front of him?

“What do you mean, relax?” you hissed.

Shirou walked over with the towel in question. You took a few steps backward in an attempt to avoid him before the fabric was draped over your shoulders. He then took the gown from your hands and tossed it to the side. You bit your tongue, trying to hold back another yelp.

“ _I’mnaked_ , Shirou.”

You were now staring at the black fabric of his shirt. You wanted to melt away into the oblivion as multiple thoughts scurried across your head. Full of embarrassment, you turned around and hid your face in the towel.

Shirou raised a brow, “Why does that matter?”

“— Because it does!”

It wasn’t too long before he held you by your shoulders and turned you around.

“Ah—Shi— what are you doing?!”

“Trying to understand what you’re doing,” he retorted.

You glanced at him before reverting your gaze back to his shirt.

“Uh… um, I’m a bit, just, you’re really close?"

The grip on your shoulders loosened, leaving you to further withdraw yourself from him. In turn, Shirou leaned forward to close any gap you created from himself.

He raised his brow, “We’ve been close before.”

You wrapped the towel closer to yourself.

“True… That’s true… but, but, not like _this_.”

Shirou narrowed his eyes: something clicked in his mind as he analyzed the bits of your sentence.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

Like a research scientist, Shirou studied your facial expression. The same grip from before returned and held you in place. And it all made you feel very very small.

“…”

“…”

“…”

You began to pick at the skin by your nails in an effort to concentrate on something else. Your eyes darted back and forth between him and the floor. It felt like you were burning alive under the pressure of his presence.

“What’s wrong with this?”

“… It’s… well, you know.”

“Why are you nervous.”

You clasped your hands together and let them rest between your thighs.

“I’m. Not nervous.”

You looked to the side, “And y’know, it’snot like you’re the one who’s naked…”  
  
“And what? Is that supposed to mean anything?”

You paused, trying to think of a reason.

“Uhm… yes… it does?”

“Tell me why it does.”  
  
“I…”

You inhaled. “It means… being naked… it…”

You pressed your face into your hands and groaned, “I don’t know! Ugh… it’s, it’s just weird to be naked in front of a stranger.”

The other rolled his eyes, “That’s what you’re going to call me now?”

“… No… Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I mean, you’re not a stranger. I’m just… it’s being naked—”

“— You were going to wear the gown that you were sweating all day in.”

“I… mean—yes I was. That’s exactly what I was going to do.”

“Does that make any sense to you?”

“… Yes?”

“You’re hopeless.”

Shirou clicked his tongue; he took the ends of the towel and began to pat the excess water off of your body.

“W-wait—”

He rubbed the sides of your body up and down. Your breath hitched as you focused on the feeling of the terry fabric against your skin. It was tempting to savor the methodical ministrations, but you were currently preoccupied with trying to figure out why being naked in front of Shirou was not okay.

“Shirou… uhm.”

You shuddered as he patted your upper torso.

“How were you going to dry yourself off?”

What were you thinking about again?

“I was… going to… use my gown…”

“That you were sweating in,” he eyed the gown on the floor before looking back at you.

“Yea… uhm, y’know, you don’t really have to help me dry off.”

Shirou continued to wipe the droplets of water away.

“And you were going to wipe yourself with filth, get sick, and end up in the hospital again.”

“Hey hey mom, okay I get the point—"

“You don’t.”

His fingers pressed into the thicker fabric and along your collarbones. By reflex, your shoulders rose. Your breath was caught in your throat. Shirou stared at the day old hickies on your neck and for a brief moment he grinded his teeth together. He harshly rubbed the towel against your neck, eliciting a whimper.

“Sh… ”

“Don’t move.”

As soon as he was finished with your neck, Shirou worked on your face. He wiped your right cheek before moving onto the left. You closed your eyes to let him collect the remaining water from your forehead.

“Hey Shirou…?”

“What.”

“… Thanks...”

Barely audible, your whisper was caught in the sounds from the ruffles of the towel.

Afterwards, Shirou lifted the towel from you. Goosebumps formed as soon as the towel’s warmth left the skin of your back and arms. You wrapped your arms around your chest and shakily exhaled. He patted your hair down in the gentlest matter: as if it was made of glass.

Perhaps it was his way of apologizing for the harshness from earlier.

You closed your eyes and leaned into his hands. Shirou carried on with drying your hair off. Once a section of your locks was dry enough, he moved onto another one.

Finally finishing, he parted his lips,

“Are all of you like this...”

“… What?” you murmured.

You were still embarrassed, but not so much as before. You were also dazed. Maybe being _naked wasn’t such a bad idea_ if it meant getting the A-list celebrity treatment from Shirou. A small smile found its way to your face. This felt different to the nurses who would clean and dress you. There was a rush.

A feeling. Excitement. Susceptibility.

Shirou never elaborated on his previous question. He wrapped the towel around your shoulders again and tucked you into its damp folds. You nestled yourself back into the warmth. You looked at him. He shifted his gaze towards the door and turned around.

“Follow me,” he motioned with a hand.

Almost instantly, you picked your feet up to follow Shirou.

“Oh, oh? Where?”

“My room, idiot.”

“ _What_.”

“You need clothes don’t you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B o n k go to horny jail. The kinda fluffyish shower scene we wished we had in Chapter 7. ;) :) I hope u guys know that I'm not dead: just working on this in the pace that I'm most comfy with!
> 
> Okay I've been sitting way too much during this pandemic so I've been following this link here every once in a while: https://www.outsideonline.com/2410593/best-stretches-after-sitting . This week, take the time to stretch your body after sitting down. It's really important that you maintain your posture, which sitting prolongedly definitely hurts. Follow the link I sent or find your own stretch to do! Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


	19. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ph] = preferred honorific
> 
> [pn] = preferred noun
> 
> [ppr] = preferred pronoun
> 
> Optional music to listen to while reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jXcnlq_yNA

You tucked the oversized shirt into your pants as the two of you made your way towards city hall. Then you shifted your belt around to adjust for the newly crammed folds of fabric. Despite your efforts, there were still parts of the shirt that spilled out from the waistline. 

You groaned as one of the shirt’s ends slipped out while you were walking, 

“This is… cumbersome.”  
  
Shirou rolled his eyes, “Would you rather walk with nothing on?”  
  
You opened your mouth to form a wide ‘O’, 

“N-no, nooo, not what I meant!”  
  
“Deal with it then,” he curtly responded.  
  
“Ugh…”

You slapped yourself in the face. You dragged the thin of your flesh until your hand covered the entirety of your mouth. 

“You’re being very sassy this morning,” you muttered.

“And you can barely hold yourself together.” 

You scoffed; you withheld yourself from making any further remarks to save yourself from an onslaught of Shirou’s tirades. As usual, he was snarky and saved no formalities between the two of you. 

You looked towards the ground.

At the same time, he was also一 you couldn’t quite put a word to it yet,

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


off? 

After this morning’s earlier incident, you were further perplexed by Shirou’s nature. What you didn’t expect, when you were brought into his room, were the black shirts and slacks that filled the closet to the brim. How many of the same clothes could one person own? 

On the top shelf was a seemingly lifetime supply of pants that were folded so neatly that they looked like books turned on their side. And all along the rack below were his shirts, which were evenly spaced apart and hung on white plastic hangers. He told you to pick whichever one you wanted: as if you could discern one shirt from the other. 

Strange.

But even stranger was him insisting on helping you get dressed. He had done _plenty enough_ to help you out this morning. You might’ve burned holes into your cheeks just by how flustered you were. So, you opted to take the clothes to an adjacent room to change into.  
  
You continued to walk, glancing down every once in a while to make sure you didn’t trip over yourself. His shoes left plenty of room in the toe area. Not even your thick socks helped. 

“Don’t be slow.”

“H-huh?”

“The lines are long."

“I’m walking, I’m walking!” you reassured him with a wave. 

Besides, it wasn’t like you had planned to leave the hospital anytime soon… At least, not until Shirou randomly decided that it was time for you to go. You were just getting used to roaming around freely again. 

You rubbed your neck, staring at the figurine of a wolf that stood on top of a marble building in the distance.   
  


\--

  
You were standing in one of five lines leading to the service desks. Luckily for you, there weren’t that many people in front of you. A mother and her child. A man in a purple beanie. An elderly gentleman with a cane. 

Asides from the occasional shuffle of feed, whispers filled the cavity of the room. It left plenty of opportunity for you to bask in your anxiousness. You could feel your heart drumming against your chest. This was the moment you were waiting for. Ever since you got off of the train, you were trying to find this place. Ever since, you got off the train, you were… 

A feeling of regret pours over you as you remembered how you lost your phone on the first day you arrived in Anima City. If you weren’t so caught up in your Boogle Maps search, you would have noticed your attacker sooner. 

You toyed with the sleeves of your shirtー

“Hey, move up.”  
  
You looked up. Suddenly, you noticed the sizable gap between you and the queue.  
  
“Oh- right shoot, gotcha.” 

You tiptoed your way towards the front, careful not to let the rubbers of your soles make too loud of a sound.

“Better hurry or someone will take your spot.”

“Hey! Now’s not the time for your jokes, Shirou!” you harshly whispered to him.  
  
“I’m just saying.”  
  
You rolled your eyes before smiling. Just one more person and you’ll be up.

  
\--

  
“Hello [ph], how may I help you?” 

“Hey, I’m ____ _____, and I’m here to collect my files for the Anima City residency program.”  
  
You exhaled, relieved that you were able to pull yourself together in the few seconds of interaction. You could only run through a sentence so many times before you forget what it even means. 

You looked towards the corner of the room; Shirou was leaning against a column and staring at everyone and everything in the room, as per usual. You’d like to think that this was probably attributed to his duties as a detective, or some wolf-esque habit. But, he’d probably tell you that he’s just looking out for the beastkin in this building. 

It took a while, but the switch for the intercom was turned on. The worker opened a window on his computer before turning his face towards you.

“Sure. Which wave were you a part of?”  
  
“Wave two.”  
  
He nodded and typed a few things into the dialogue box before pausing. 

“... Excuse me, [ph]... did you say, wave two?”  
  
Reassuring him, you nodded, “Mhmm, the one and only!”  
  
The worker quizzically raised his brow, 

“... You’re here awfully late… we’re on our eighth wave now.”  
  
You felt a little deflated. It wasn’t like you meant to be late but rather, you were stalled by some lunatic who was out for your blood.

“I-I know, it’s a funny story actually… so, when I came here and, well I got hungry, so then I went to look for food and look, the next thing that happened-”

He motioned for you to stop with his right hand.  
  
“Save it, [ph]. I don’t need to hear the backstory. I’m going to look you up right now.”

“I. Thanks? Thank you… I, it really has been a while.” 

All of that practice certainly flew out the door.

He asked you for the spelling of your first and last name. You ran through the letters on auto-pilot; you were used to this in the hospital. He clicked on a few items before slowly shaking his head. 

You frowned, scared of what the man was going to say next.

“I’m sorry [ph], but our records indicate that you haven’t registered for the human residency program. I don’t see you in any of the databases for waves one, two, or three.”

You blinked at the man through the glass.  
  
“… What?”

Was that really what you were hearing? 

“[Ph], you’re not in our database. I can’t find your name anywhere on this.”  
  
You couldn’t believe you were hearing this.  
  
“That’s impossible. I, I have to be on? I signed up! There’s no way that I wasn’t.”

The worker shook his head again. 

“Well… my hands are tied. There’s not much I can do.”  
  
He clicked around on the desktop.  
  
“I… Are you sure I’m not on there? I...”  
  
Holy hell. You _did not_ just stay in a hospital for months just to hear this.  
  
“I’m double checking as we speak. You’re not here.”

You fidgeted with your shirt again: it was getting difficult blinking through your damp eyes. You were beginning to lose your focus on the worker. Why on earth would you not be registered in the system? You signed up. You put your name down on the Anima City website. Gave your information away. Height. Eye color. Former Address. _Everything_ .  
  
Why does everything wrong have to happen at the worst possible time? 

You quickly glanced at Shirou, who was preoccupied with the newcomers sifting in and out of the building. You looked back at the worker. 

“So… what do I do now?”  
  
“Well, what I can do is help you fill out a new application for the next wave.”  
  
  
\--

  
“He told you _what_ .”

“I can’t stay here. At least, not until I’m a citizen.”  
  
“In Anima City.”  
  
“Well… yes. I guess so?”

“You’re just going to accept this?”  
  
You sheepishly shrugged your shoulders. “It’s… well… I guess, I have to go back home…”

You looked to the side, trying to focus your attention on the details of the surrounding buildings. Careful not to burst yet again into tears. They never said moving alone by yourself would be easy. But they never said it would be this difficult either.  
  
Shirou looked ahead as he processed your words. 

It seemed like you were both in disbelief about your situation.  
  
“You’ll stay.”  
  
His voice cuts through the fog in your mind.

You blinked a few more times.

“Huh? Stay? That’s… that’d be... ”

It was going to take two weeks to process your application and another two to approve it. There was no way you were going to overstay your welcome.  
  
“Shirou, I can’t… I can’t stay.”

You’d love to. You’d love nothing more than to stay here, but with no ordinance to keep you in place, you were susceptible to crime and injuries. It was too risky.

“No.”

“What? I’ll be back in a month. I’ll figure it out.” 

You huffed and scoured through your mind to form a last minute plan to leave. But truthfully, your brain was running a million miles per hour trying to even figure out where you’d even get the cash to take the trip home. You could walk. But then there was the issue of food. _Shit_. What about the hospital bills? How does that even work? How does payment go? Okay, even if you dealt with that and you arrived home… you would have to deal with一

You tugged at one of your sleeves as you tried to make sense of it all.  
  
But it didn’t.

Nothing made sense.

“ _No_.”

Shirou placed his hand on your shoulder.

Confused, you slowed down your pace.

“Why are you saying no?”  
  
“... You’ll stay.”  
  
You almost choked on your own spit, “ _What._ Aren’t you a part of the force who would be enforcing this sort of activity? I… I can’t? How...”  
  
You clenched your fists before releasing them. You had already accepted your fate. Why didn’t he?  
  
Shirou placed his other hand on your shoulder and turned you to face him. You thought you were ready to burst into tears in front of the man. Why was he doing this?

He looked into your eyes, drawing you into the universe of his slate ones.

“You’re fine. You’ll get through this.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally gotten to the buildup that I needed to start doing fluffy stuff :PPPPPPPP 
> 
> hahaha it's been a stressful time in America. There's a lot that needs to be changed but... our future generation gives me hope :) 
> 
> So this week, really open your eyes to your community and see whats going on. It could be in your home, your school, your neighborhood, your county, etc. 
> 
> Is there something that needs improvement? How can you help? Is it as simple as shouting them out on your social? Drawing other people's attention to their cause? Creating happiness? 
> 
> Questions, questions, questions. They don't all need answers, but thinking about them is a start!
> 
> Let's be the best beastkin we can be! 🐺


End file.
